SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

So today I’ll be doing my least favorite flight in the history of the universe: West Coast to New York. I find it maddening that I have to spend six hours in a plane inhaling recycled air with out the reward up ending up somewhere pretty like Paris. I am however, extremely excited to get back to Manhattan. Vacationing can be so stressful, all this obligatory relaxation and fresh air. When you’re norm is NYC pace, you need a therapist to mentally prepare you for such sudden and intense bouts of leisure. For me, this time around, the whole ‘spare time’ thing didn’t come naturally. I’ll admit I was actually making stealth to-do lists on the hotel stationary mid-hot tub.

So if I don’t get too distracted by JetBlue’s fab television system (last time I took this flight I pathetically ended up watching VH1’s trash, “The Fabulous Life of Celebrity Weddings,” not once but twice), I should have plenty of time in-flight to recap my trip and do some real writing. Now we all know I don’t do the writing about celebrities thing, and another personal ‘don’t’ of mine is writing about politics. I’m sort of breaking this rule today. While most of these slogans are politically related, they’re just too funny to miss. Enjoy!

HOTTEST-SELLING 2007 BUMPER STICKERS!

1. Bush: End of an Error

2. That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

3. Let’s Fix Democracy in this Country First

4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

5. Bush. Like a Rock - Only Dumber.

6. If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President

7. Of Course It Hurts: You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant

8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10. Impeachment: It’s Not Just for Blow Jobs Anymore

11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

12. They Call Him “W” So He Can Spell It

13. Jail to the Chief

14. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?

15. Bush: God’s Way of Proving Intelligent Design Is Full of Crap

16. Bad President! No Banana.

17. We Need a President Who’s Fluent In At Least One Language

18. We’re Making Enemies Faster than We Can Kill Them

19. Is It Vietnam Yet?

20. Bush Doesn’t Care About White People, Either

21. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We in This Hand Basket?

22. You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

24. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

25. The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

26. One Nation under Clod

27. At Least Nixon Had the Decency to Resign

28. Iraq, Arabic for Vietnam