Once you’ve lived in New York five years, you think you’ve seen the maximum douchiness this city has to offer. Alas, no. Go here to see the sad insanity I witnessed this past weekend. The party foul was conducted by a promoter; someone you’d think would be classy and know better. This segways into my next topic which is ‘friends who pretend to be promoters but are not.’ For the purposes of this discussion, let’s call them Fromoters (‘F’ standing for both friend and fake.)
Fromoters are concept I fail to understand. You’ll recognize them in your life because they are:
-Guilty of group texting you and your entire posse of friends
-Out and about as if they had a press schedule
-Blowing up your facebook feed like it’s their job and
-Incessantly trying to organize group ‘brunch’
Let’s not confuse the fromoter disease with the generous friend who takes on the burdened role of organizer to help everyone get together. Occasionally taking the hit to play organizer is both selfless and kind. How would everyone ever get together otherwise? The fromoter on the other hand, thrives on being the centerfold of this endless string of group events. It’s the nectar from which their ego suckles. And they will batter you with invites, reminders, and updates until your mobile device explodes.
When promoters harass you, you can let it go. It’s their job. The fromoter on the other hand, doesn’t have the excuse of having to text you to pay their rent. What’s mind boggling to me is that the work of promoting in the city is so cutthroat, exhausting, cruel, and time consuming that I’m amazed anyone would take on such a stressful duty voluntarily. And while working promoters understand that their job is a job and rejection is 99% of the deal, fromoters as your friends have a hard time taking no for an answer.
How to best handle the fromoters in your life? How to stay on good terms while asking them to politely only contact you four times a day?
I don’t have the answer to that yet.
Feel free to leave thoughts.
April 24th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
this is a hard one, i have the same problem myself…sometimes you can just ignore them and nothing else, cant really be mean about it
April 24th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Tell people you’re pregnant. The party invites will dry up pretty quickly.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:47 am
Hahaha you pointed exactley right issue for me. I can just ignor if it is that simple. What about when the fromoter bothers all of my friend’s friend’s friends? and using my name to promote? They are really good at getting contacts and sending bulk emails, however they have less manner to invite people!
April 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
This is a really really hard one. I have a good friend who happens to be a promoter- but we met without the knowledge of either of our occupations. At some point he stopped being so much a ‘friend’ when it came to getting together and having and sharing some laughs and a good time, as he started to get me to trail him wherever he might be promoting- thus aka fromoter. And the worst part is that at some point they pull the ‘Ohh your not a true friend because you would go here/there/everywhere with me.’ And Im pretty much shot blank as how to respond anymore. The fromoter relationship is a really messy one.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Do drop a hint on the venue where all this petty cash flying was occurring at…I think I may have a inkling.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
It occurred at Upstairs above Cafe Bari my friend. Were you also there to witness the wretchedness?
@ all - this fromoter thing is apparently a widespread NYC phenomena. And I thought I was the only one annoyed!
April 26th, 2008 at 3:19 am
Ahhhh it is a difficult one. Although I manage pretty well. I have a good friend who happens to be a promoter. At one point I was really bothered by him expecting me to be on his side every single time. I clearly expressed my feelings and now were perfect. He doesnt include me in the mass texts; we just call or I let him know wether im there or not. But since he’s such a cool guy and we have so much fun I end up hanging out with him anyways.
Further more it kinda ‘protects’ me from other promoters. The facebook ones I cant avoid but the others, i just text back im with …(promoters name) tonite and they back off a bit after hearing this a couple of times in a row. Maybe it works for you as well?
Bottomline I like my fromoter (f here only for friend not for fake)…but it took a while to get our perfect balanced relationship haha