SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

The Plaza Wants to Party

The Plaza, known primarily as a mid-town tourist venue and home to the delightful brat Eloise, seems to want a slice of the city’s nightlife party pie. In an operation that involved tenting off their lobby bar with heavy velvet curtains and installing a doorman and DJ, the Plaza now hosts its own mini lounge, [...]

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What’s scarier than using NYC public transportation?

Driving with my brother. The first time I drove with my brother was actually only a few months ago when he was driving me and my boyfriend back to Queens after a trip to visit my fam on LI. It may have been the single most horrifying experience of my life. I thought driving with [...]

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Celeb Sighting: Steve Harvey at JFK

So I just devoted 13 hours of my life to picking up high school students from JFK airport for the New York Film Academy’s summer program. Needless to say, airports suck, especially when everything is delayed and the Air Train only half works. On the bright side, all the kids were really nice and understanding. [...]

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Cab Drivers

It really pisses me off when a cab driver asks me for directions. I mean, HE IS THE CAB DRIVER! Isn’t he supposed to know this stuff, or at least have a GPS system in place to help him out? I don’t drive in the city, you do, so you should know the directions. If [...]

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The Cone: Part 2!

Update! Update! The Kiss & Fly cone has multiplied. [Old photo above] There are now TWO. Note new the side view photo I took to properly showcase this point.I guess I thought that by drawing attention to it via the Internet, the cone would somehow magically disappear and get removed by a Kiss & Fly janitor [...]

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It’s Getting Hot in Here

This morning as I was about to enter a subway car, I noticed a woman fanning herself and immediately rushed to the next car. Now, ths could have meant that the woman was simply hot, because she was kinda fat, but it most likely meant that the air conditioning in that car was broken. I’ve [...]

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How to Get Yourself Invited to the Jersey Shore (and consequential adventures)

I woke up this past Saturday at 10 am still drunk from Friday night at Cain and instinctually knowing there was no way I’d be spending the rest of the weekend in the city. My Hamptons escape house would be too crazy for my hung over mind to handle so I eliminated Long Island as [...]

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How To: Pick a Crab (The Ones From The Ocean)

[digg=http://digg.com/food_drink/How_To_Pick_a_Blue_Crab] It’s summer! If you’re from Maryland or the general Delmarva region, you know that summer means steamed crabs and more Old Bay than you can shake a stick at. As a Baltimorean, I keep Old Bay on hand year-round, and never leave the country without it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Old [...]

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How to Ensure Your Summer Fling Doesn’t Disrupt Your Sanity

Terrified of getting involved with someone for serious? Want to stay in that happy, unclear, romantic dating phase forever? Want to enjoy your partner’s consistent affection without having to meet their parents? Enjoy their body without dealing with serious business? Great, because that’s what summer’s all about. We’re drinking during the day instead of just at [...]

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BFF?

This morning on the subway I got to thinking about Nicole Ritchie. Is it just me or has she become awesome since her union with Joel Madden, the foundation they started together and the birth of Harlow Winter Kate Madden? Don’t get me wrong; I liked her as Paris’ adorable, funny, slighly chubby sidekick on [...]

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