Terrified of getting involved with someone for serious? Want to stay in that happy, unclear, romantic dating phase forever? Want to enjoy your partner’s consistent affection without having to meet their parents? Enjoy their body without dealing with serious business?
Great, because that’s what summer’s all about. We’re drinking during the day instead of just at night. Everyone’s wearing less clothes. People are sporting swimwear and getting wet. We’re confronted with breezy, beachside romantic moments in abundance. The share house system has you meeting new people at an exacerbated speed. Yet you’re going to need a plan because that pesky thing called ‘your soul’ will want you to wholeheartedly mesh lives with your summer stud. Keeping your fling at local New Jersey Transit speed instead of the fast track to love is no easy task. You’re going to need a game plan if you want to keep you summer romance airy and fun instead of serious, scary, and stress-inducing.
Here are my pointers for keeping the fling a fling:
- Never plan to see each other more than 24-hours in advance. Long term planning is something interdependent couples tediously partake in. You know, the couple you see arguing in the laundry room arguing about whether to spend July 4th with her stepdad or his Aunt Fran as they fold each others intimates. No one wants to be that couple.
- Try to make planning to see each other seem as sporadic as possible. Always use an indirect approach to keep things casual, like “You around in the city tonight?” instead of the logical, “You want to come over?”
- Keep conversations minimal. Prioritize both of you having summer fun with each others friends over you two bonding alone in a shadowy corner. Summer is all about group games and activities. If you think ‘pack mentality’ instead of ‘couple mentality,’ you can enjoy spending a lot more time together without it seeming intense.
- Don’t hold hands, make-out or smother each other in public. No one wants to be the honeymooning couple everyone knows will last three weeks. More importantly, by acting like ‘just friends’ in public, flinging in private will not only be steamier, but a huge adrenaline rush.
- Never, dear God never, say the words boyfriend or girlfriend. Obvi.
- If some unknowing shmuck refers to you guys as boyfriend/girlfriend refuse to acknowledge it and never discuss. Don’t bother to correct them, it’ll only make things weirder.
- If you do have serious talks (inevitable) to try choreograph them so you’re not looking at each other. Eliminating eye-contact is a great way to get closer without your conversation feeling like the powerful scene in a movie in which the romantic leads enter Loveland. Pour a little of you heart out when you’re sitting on his lap and you’re both admiring a summer view or sitting side by side in a car after a weekend out of the city. Remember this is a summer fling, not a Lifetime movie that ends with a white dress.
- Avoid post-coital confessions / talks in general.
- Avoid any conversation that starts with “I feel like you xxx” or “It really hurts my feelings when you xxx.” If you’re feeling hurt, make a point to aim for his crotch when you’re playing with super soakers by the pool. Or nonchalantly dump him and move onto summer fling subject #2. Complaining about stuff is what real couples do with each other.
- Discussing some serious issues is inevitable (jealousy, monogamy, reliability) so always do this with a huge tablespoon of comedy. Everything that’s upsetting about real relationships should be approached with humor in a summer fling. Otherwise you’ll be fretting, not flinging, and potentially ruining all the fair-weather fun.
For a more serious, in-depth analysis on these kind of dysfunctional relationships I refer you all here.
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