2008 September | SelfAbsorbed.ME : 'It's Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier'

EVERY GUY YOU WILL EVER DATE

30. September 2008

THE SHORT MEATHEAD:For starters. He is short. But he has a ridiculous body. Want to know why? Because he is short. What the fuck else is he supposed to do? So he goes to the gym and lifts and lifts and lifts until you think that vein above his left eyelid is going to explode [...]

Dear RCN,

30. September 2008

9 Comments

Dear, RCN. Let me begin by saying that I hate you. My boyfriend and I were very excited about the Ravens playing the Steelers last night on Monday Night Football. We, my boyfriend especially, have been looking forward to this game for about a week. Come game time, we sat poised in front of the TV, [...]

Guest Post: Screen Story 21: The Dangers of Modeling

30. September 2008

2 Comments

Today, compliments of Kilroy, we have the script for a never to be shot public health message about the dangers of modeling. Uh, yes, it’s a spoof. In a mock public health documentary, high school students are warned about the dangers of modeling. The film’s message is that modeling is an addiction little different from [...]

Orgasmic Shopping

29. September 2008

3 Comments

It’s a common presumption that New York has the best shopping in the world and therefore anyone who lives in Manhattan is constantly toting around Bendels bags and chic-ed out to the max. What they forget is that we’re also working our guts out to afford our astronomical New York rent while still [...]

New poll!

28. September 2008

2 Comments

Thanks to everyone for taking my last poll! While most of you have had the good fortune of not having to see a man’s peen while riding public transportation, four of you said you have, including one person who claims to have punched said peen to teach the guy a lesson. Whoever you four, unfortunate [...]

Paul Newman, RIP

28. September 2008

0 Comments

What a crappy week! Two celeb RIP’s in a row, and they were actually talented, noteworthy, important celebs, not like those reality-TV stars I am constantly seeing on the subway. The world lost Paul Newman yesterday, at 83 years old, to lung cancer. Damn you, cancer! When will you be satisfied!? But in all seriousness, this [...]

Around the World in 3 Cocktails

26. September 2008

0 Comments

Last Friday, I went to Italy, Russia, India and Greece. Uh-huh. And I didn’t even have to ride the dreaded monorail at JFK. Instead, I attended Nadia Digilov’s launch party for Celebrating in Style, a company dedicated to providing authentic, multicultural experiences. The company does this in two ways. First, through their event planning sector, Celebration Chique and [...]

Carrot Top

26. September 2008

2 Comments

As I was walking to the subway this evening, I heard a man call out, “Hey Carrot Top!” I looked around expecting to see some poor red-headed kid with major insecurity issues from being the butt of everyone’s red-headed jokes all his life, but I didn’t see one. Instead, I saw, walking in front of [...]

Skins, Like, Totally Rulez!!1!

25. September 2008

3 Comments

This post is way overdue, and the only reason I finally got a fire behind my ass to write it is because I saw a mention of Skins in New York Magazine, and I feared that if I didn’t publicly declare my love affair with Britain’s best teen show before it became really mainstream and [...]

Migration to a Different Dating Pond

25. September 2008

12 Comments

Every once in awhile we’re lucky enough to have a eureka moment. A breakthrough. A quick shimmer of genius which makes everything clear.I experienced a moment like this in the dating arena mid-August. The epiphany went something like this: Why get dressed up, go to clubs, stuff your feet into heels, wrap your body in binding or [...]

SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Archive | September, 2008

EVERY GUY YOU WILL EVER DATE

Dear RCN,

Guest Post: Screen Story 21: The Dangers of Modeling

Orgasmic Shopping

New poll!

Paul Newman, RIP

Around the World in 3 Cocktails

Carrot Top

Skins, Like, Totally Rulez!!1!

Migration to a Different Dating Pond

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