On Google Chat
Brainstorming Buddy: I think it’s male PMS week. The men in my life are being worthless.
Me: I agree. What’s going on? Why now?
BB: Summer’s over? It’s going to be a full moon? Ummm…Absolutely no foreseeable motive?!!?
Me: OK. Bullet point the symptoms for me.
BB:
- Short text messages
- Failure to follow through with plans
- Blaming
- Yelling at work
- Lack of tenderness
- Increased self-absorbtion
Me: OMG. Gaa. Why is life so busy!?!? I can’t write today. I just can’t do it.
BB: Of course you can. Do, like, a “men have feelings, too” article. But then beat them up.
Me: Wow. Are we really at the level that it’s necessary to consciously point out that men probably have feelings?
BB: I mean, obviously they have feelings. They’re apparently PMSing. I just don’t think it’s something I consciously think about.
Me: That’s true. We expect men to be macho. Ape-like. Able to handle things. When really, they’re just people too.
BB: Uh-huh. Apparently. Blame their inability to properly express feelings on society. Like, they were given trucks instead of dolls.
Me: Duh.
BB: Be like, “Oh, I understand that you get stressed / sad / overwhelmed and then you take it out on those who care most about. Thanks for nothing.”
Me: hahaah
BB: The female brain: “I really just want reassurance, support and affection.” The male brain: “???” Do they want the same?
Me: No they want to chase things. Unless they’re “real men” who no longer need the thrill of conquer, capture and discard. According to my most recent research, men do this to figure out their mate value. Like, how well they rank in the world of the city/jungle, where they stand in their ability to get women and against other men. Kind of like figuring out what your hierarchy is. Men who have figured it out and are secure in their position, don’t need to chase women or play games.
BB: So you’re proposing no game playing? Eeesh.
Me: If you’re resorting to game playing, the guy isn’t actually available.
BB: Uh-oh. OK. Here’s my next question for you. Where does one find these supposed “real men?”
Me: Well. Yes. This is a problem. I don’t know. But I don’t think a lot of them live in the tri-state area. Maybe the west coast? Another posit: Can you transform a guy who’s running around into a “real man,” who doesn’t, you know, need to be a player.
BB: Unlikely. And yet women all over the world are trying. It’s like running into a brick wall. It’s what Sex and the City called an ‘urban relationship myth.’ The guy who was crazy but some girl got him to settle down.
Me: And now she’s a queen. I think we all keep at it because if you succeeded, it would be like the holy grail of relationships.
BB: It would be like you actually conquered someone. The ego boost / thrill of it makes it worthwhile.
Me: I guess maturity = when you accept that trying to conquer the unavailable will never really work.
BB: Probably. Are we interested in maturity?
Me: Yeah! K. I wanna go eat a banana.
Brainstorm session over.
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