You’re falling in love. Gross. Romance somehow turns those of us that swear like truck drivers and cackle at cinematic happy endings into people who use words like ‘muffin cake’ and ‘baby bear’ when addressing our significant other. How exactly this happens remains a mystery. There are however, clear relationship side effects to speaking like an infant who’s teething.
Oozing-with-affection pet names tend to emerge when you’re deeply connecting with someone you’re probably going to date for a while. When you start calling your boyfriend ‘bunny,’ be aware you’re going to lose two years of your life with this person. Pet names are a natural by product of a deep ‘love connection’ (whatever that means, I read it in a relationship book somewhere).
In a relationship that great, it’s like the two of you have your own reality, your own secret language, your own special way of communicating – sort of like the connection between infant twins except you’re not infants and you’re not related. Pet names foster and fuel true intimacy because let’s face it; you’re trusting someone not to taunt you or throw-up in their mouth when you address them as ‘snowflake’ in complete seriousness.
Yet be forewarned! Seemingly innocent and adorable pet names can have dangerous consequences when used in excess. Overindulging in Splenda-level sweet nicknames can make your respect for one another as adults and your sexual chemistry plummet.
How?
It’s been my observation that while pet names are necessary to foster intimacy and are chuckle-filled fun at the beginning of a relationship, they can be a serious mood killer if used excessively down the road. How can you take someone’s opinions and needs seriously two-years into a relationship when you refer to them as ‘baby cupcake?’ Plus does the phrase ‘baby cupcake’ really conjure up images of hot sex?
Didn’t think so.
Like everything in life, annoyingly, the pet name process warrants balance. Use pet names to get close, but once you’re together bust them out only occasionally – otherwise, you’ll start seeing your mate more like a comforting teddy bear instead of someone you’re supposed to willingly engage in sexual intercourse with.
Maybe some people can call their significant other ‘cuddle monkey’ all day and still want to rip their clothes off that night, but in my experience, intimacy that sounds too much like a kindergarten classroom is usually a long-term attraction killer.
November 26th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Ready for this one? I call my boyfriend “Puffin” (think “Girls Next Door”) and he calls me “Muffin” (because it rhymes). Have you thrown up in your mouth yet? That’s the reaction we usually illicit when we tell this to other people, which we do b/c I get a kick out of their reactions
February 4th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Is it not sexier to call someone by their name? Prosody in linguistics is the intonation, rhythm, and stress on a word. I don’t think I could lust after a Snowflake or Muffin or what have you.