I watch Gossip Girl for two reasons: to quote Monday’s episode, “Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck.” These two characters deliver the best lines, the funniest quips, and the most smoldering sexual tension. Oh, wait–make that three reasons to watch. I can’t forget about Dorota, Blair’s loyal maid and true BFF (Let’s face it: though Serena has the official “best friend” title, she’s good for nothing but a booby dress). This holy trinity of characters habitually steals the show.

However, my dwindling faith in Gossip Girl and the rest of its beautiful bland cast was suddenly and unexpectedly renewed, nay strengthened by a single line in Monday’s episode. Even more shocking, the line was delivered by none other than Dan Humphrey–a character I usually find to be boring and predictable. Upon seeing his ex girlfriend and consistent love interest, Booby-Dress Serena, with her current boyfriend, he searches to find purpose in his current situation.

“I carried the garment bag,” he tells them–a subtle, yet beautifully hilarious and appropriate reference to the classic Dirty Dancing line: “I carried a watermelon.”

“I carried a watermelon,” happens to be my favorite part of Dirty Dancing–it even had an impressive run as my “favorite quote” on Facebook. It embodies all the discomfort of an unappealing social situation. I can’t count the number of “I carried a watermelon” moments I’ve had in my life. That arbitrary fact, the excuse, the justification just tumbles off the tongue for lack of a social aplomb in the presence of someone you’re crushing. So when Dan explained, “I carried a garment bag” in the same sheepish, bumbling manner, I immediately made the connection.

Part of me wonders if this Dirty Dancing reference was intentional. Maybe I’m reading too far into it since I’m freakishly obsessed with the movie. I remember one particular instance when I watched Dirty Dancing alone in my dorm room and then got stoned with a couple of friends. I went on this embarrassing philosophical tirade about how DD was:

Like, this amazing anomaly because it’s a product of the 60s and the 80s. Like, it was so totally 80s, but it was the 60s at the same time and, like, you couldn’t have that movie at any other time because it’s this crazy combination of 80s Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey who you know are definitive icons of 80s entertainment but when you see the movie you also completely believe that they’re in it–in the 1960s, I mean. Yeah.

By the time I finished my enlightening monologue, one person had left the room and the other had fallen asleep on the floor next to the empty Papa John’s pizza box.

Still, regardless of whether the reference is intentional or not, the sentiment for each moment is the same. Maybe I feel so tied to these two moments because I experienced such a similar situation at the vulnerable age of 13, just a couple of months before I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.

In my seventh grade year, I was like most of my peer group: uncomfortable, insecure, self-conscious. When I reflect upon that time, I mostly remember feeling like every aspect of my mind, body, and spirit was growing at a different rate. Everything seemed difficult, especially the most practical functions, like walking and talking. Did anyone else make the repeated mistake of eating Oreos with braces?

During this time, I had a devastating crush–most aspects of social life felt devastating–on Jimmy Montgomery. He was first cousins with my friend, Kate. I was very tight-lipped about my crush, so much so that every time Kate talked about Jimmy, I would clam up and not say anything. She assumed I hated him.

When the Montgomerys went away for April vacation, they left their chocolate lab, Doodle (WTF, right?), in Kate’s care. I happened to be over at Kate’s house on the day that she returned Doodle so I came with her. She walked the dog on his leash and carried his dog food. I held the pooper scooper, a small metal shovel used to pick up Doodle’s doodoos from the back yard, and his food dish. When we arrived at the Montgomery’s house, Jimmy and his younger brother were throwing a football back and forth in the front yard. They immediately ran over to greet their beloved Doodle. “Kate,” Jimmy said. “Mom wants you to stay for dinner.” He looked at me, clearly unsure of whether or not to extend the invitation to Kate’s Silent Bob sidekick. I suddenly felt a panicked need to explain my presence.

“I carried the pooper scooper,” I stated. Silence.

Kate shot me a middle school glance, eyebrows with an attitude that said, you are like, so weird. Jimmy and his brother ignored me completely and started petting Doodle again. “I gotta go, Kate,” I mumbled as I put the pooper scooper and the food dish on the ground. “I’m late for dinner. Bye.” And with a limp wrist of a wave, I turned around and walked as fast as I could back to my house–30 minutes across town. I felt like an utter fool. And why hadn’t I just said “food dish”? How did I allow “pooper scooper” to seamlessly roll off my tongue? You could have followed the tracks of my tears home that night.

So, though I might watch Gossip Girl primarily for the tongue-in-cheek (literally and figuratively) exchanges between Chuck and Blair, and the bonds of friendship and serfdom between Blair and Dorota, it was refreshing to see a moment of such relatable social stammering from Dan. While Dirty Dancing might be a byproduct of two past decades, its philosophies are timeless. And, just as I was about to call it quits on this show, Monday’s episode was a reminder: nobody puts Gossip Girl in the corner.

Photo credits
Dirty Dancing: newsarama.com
Gossip Girl: Starpulse.com