Day 1 in Miami. We arrive at the Dildo Island house, run around, and eat a fake pre-dinner to make sure we don’t get too hungry for our 9:30pm real dinner. We have a reservation for fifteen friends at hotspot restaurant Vita. I say ‘hotspot’ because this is what I’ve been told. Let’s keep in mind I’ve never been to Miami before in my life, so I’m sort of like a wide-eyed child with the ability to take cabs alone.
The inside proves to be rowdy and glitzy with a Latin flair. Some people samba.
Once again, abstaining from drinking, my Live Twittering begins.
Our restaurant host at Vita in Miami is a delightful round man wearing a poncho and gem stones
He’s also wearing a necklace that appears to be made of smarties…. Or shells
$32 for scallops, nice
In addition to our eccentric male Maitre de, who we soon realize is also wearing high heels, we see a man with cottony white hair, eyes ablaze, wandering around the patio amongst the curvy, half-naked, women, many of whom appear to be forty plus.
Albert Einstien is in Miami
By 10:30pm our party of fifteen is just now ordering dinner and chomping down of Tuna Tartar and Goat Cheese Tempura appetizers when a nearly naked woman wearing two strips of rayon held precariously together by sparkles starts modeling in front of our table. I was really confused. It was like when homeless people or musicians with instruments solicit you for money during dinner. But what did this chick want? Was it an eating disorder charity thing?
Should I slip her some of my calamari?
Before I had the chance, someone explained she was selling the clothes.
Models / go go dancers are now doing a fashion show in the middle of the restaurant
Aforemetioned host is now doing Saturday Night Fever moves on bar top
He just let his hair down
I have accompanying visuals:
Thanks to this fashion show, we now know where strippers get their clothes
Apparently wearing dresses 100% made of sparkles is normal here
Lesbians in animal print, again
Then we saw an out of place child.
There’s a lost 12 year old in all white lost in this club. I’m looking for a parental unit… with a matching outfit perhaps?
So a guy just walked past me and kissed my shoulder…. Pick up attempt? He thinks I’m someone else?
This was weird. Were people just that friendly in Miami? It’s sort of like how dogs sniff each others butts…Miamians just kiss one another’s skin?
The fashion show was long over, yet the women’s clothing I was seeing still fascinated me.
Apparently, the ideal evening clothing here for women is a bikini in dress form
Without enough time to make even more snarky comments about female Miami fashion, I was escorted out of the restaurant to our party destination, a place called Rockbar.
To Be Continued…
Tue, Dec 30, 2008
Travel