This past weekend kicked my ass. It started off early Saturday morning with a bridal shower for one of my good friends, followed by the bachelorette party later that night. We partied until closing time with drag queens, soft-core porn (with drag queens), giant balloon vag hats, (which, as you may be surprised to learn , attracts a lot of attention) karaoke, a bar fight, me screaming, stolen items from the deli and one drunk-ass bachelorette. The night was perfect. I slept for four hours and woke up on my homemade chair-and-footstool bed, and got ready for my appointment at my favorite salon in Forest Hills. A short while after that, Boyfriend and I went to a long -lost, but Facebook-found, friend’s house for dinner.
Later that night, Boyfriend and I got to talking about belching. Well, not so much talking as him belching and me throwing my shoe at him, which lead to the inevitable burping argument.
Earlier that evening, my friend’s husband burped. A lot. And he never once excused himself. Boyfriend used this as a proof point in his argument that all men should feel free to burp in their own homes without excuse, and since my frend didn’t force her husband to excuse himself, or god forbid suppress it, he shouldn’t have to excuse himself either when he’s in his home. I disagree. See, it’s not just his home. It’s our home, as in we both live there, and I think he should respect that and make efforts to change his ways. Or at least try to. He disagrees. Now granted, I let a burp slip out for time to time, but I always, usually, I think, cover my mouth and say excuse me right away. Big difference. Kind of.
Anyway, in closing, we’re humans. We drive cars and drink alcohol, and can sometimes even drive cars while drinking alcohol. The point is, this is how God created us. He designed us to be one step above the monkeys that toss their poop at people. Let’s do God proud and act like civilized creatures.
Or else you’re going to hell.
February 10th, 2009 at 4:50 am
Hahahaha the dreaded shoe throw. One of my ex-girlfriends who I’m still close with, burped on our first date. I couldn’t stop laughing, she cried and it became one of those moments that I think made us closer with the fact that we could laugh about it.
February 10th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Yeah burping and farting is funny….but at the dinner table? Come on, now.
February 10th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Its not the dinner table - we are eating in front of the tv…hey all men that agree to live with women have to deal with their craziness - that never changes…you all are crazy and we are gross…but a man’s home is his castle and he should be able to relax and let the gas come and go
In fairness to me I usually don’t say excuse me because it causes the Subway Gal to go “whaaaat” in a manner that could only be described as native Long Islander speak..its hilarious and I enjoy hearing it
February 10th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Haha, point taken, SG’s BF. On the couch is an entirely different story!
February 11th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I’d like to state for the record that I am STILL exhausted from Saturday. What happened to our rinse-and-repeat days? Man.
Oh and…my husband can release all sorts of gas as he pleases when it’s just us. But that’s me. I’d totally be embarassed if we were with other people and he didn’t excuse himself.