What a Woman Wants

Fri, Feb 13, 2009

Uncategorized

What a Woman Wants

This one is for the fellas.

Ok guys, I know you’ve been thinking for a while, “Subway Gal is so wise. When will she tell us the secrets for bagging the woman of our dreams?” Well guys, wonder no more! Today, I am going to share with you a few (but not all) secrets about what (most) women want from a man and how you can attract the woman of your dreams.

What a woman wants:

  1. A man with a sense of humor. Nothing is worse than a guy who can’t laugh at himself or a good joke or appreciate a woman with a sarcastic sense of humor (ahem). If you can’t watch Will Ferrell run around stark naked in “Old School,” then you are made of stone, and I want no part of you!
  2. A man who treats us like a princess. And by princess I don’t mean be kind and gentle and loving towards me, I mean, treat me like an actual princess. Fetch me food and drinks when I demand, I mean, ask for them, carry me when we are out so that my feet won’t hurt, and do everything I say. Is that so much to ask for??
  3. A man who is nice and respectful and won’t beat us. You hear that, CHRIS BROWN??
  4. A man with money. I know it sounds cliche, but no matter what a woman says, it is absolutely true. A life of leisure with a “staff” to cook me food and wash my house, never having to work, sleeping in late and shopping and drinking the rest of the day? Sign me up! So lesson here is, go get rich fellas. Take a second job if you can handle it, because every woman wants a man with money. Not every woman will end up with a man with money, in fact, many won’t, but a girl can dream.
  5. A man with a six-pack. Again, this is one of those things that most women want, but not all will get. A good man, the kind you can actually date, never has a six-pack. No, those are reserved for the a**holes. Come on guys, get to the gym and work it! If I can wake up early on a Sunday to go to cardio kickboxing class, you can drag your lazy butt to the gym once in a while, or if not the gym, at least over to the ab roller collecting dust in the back of your closet.

What a woman does not want:

  1. A man with a small peen. No further explanation needed.
  2. A stalker. It’s great to feel loved and wanted and all, but there’s a fine line between infatuation and scary obsession. Like, if we spend the evening apart and I’m out with my friends, I shouldn’t have 10 missed calls from you in the span of 10 minutes. And you and/or your best friend shouldn’t “accidentally” show up where I am. That type of psycho behavior will send you back to singleville. I should know because I perfected the art of stalking crushes and ex-boyfriends during high school.
  3. A man who is short. Unless you have a lot of money, or look like Brad Pitt, or have something equally interesting to offer, a woman is not usually attracted to a man that is shorter than she is. It’s socially awkward for a woman to be taller than the man. I know it’s not fair and it’s probably prejudiced, but it’s true. And I don’t know many woman who would give up wearing stilettos and parading around in flats all the time, just to accommodate a man. I don’t know how Kat(i)e Holmes puts up with it.
  4. A man who is not educated. Nothing is worse than trying to talk about important current events like the breakup of Hugh Hefner and the Girls Next Door, or who had the cutest celebuspawn in 2008, with a guy and him not know what the hell you are talking about. Hellooooooo? Don”t you read Perez Hilton or People? Relax, I’m just kidding! . . . . sort of.
  5. A man with a hairy back. Just looking at the below picture makes me cringe. In the word’s of the wisest spinster around, Jennifer Aniston, that is uncool. What is it’s purpose and why haven’t you waxed it yet?? Does it keep you warm on these cold winter nights? Its not attractive and even if you are the richest, sexiest, sweetest man around, an excessively hairy back will kill the romance and end the relationship.

You’re welcome.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Posts:



10 Comments For This Post

  1. Subway Gal's BF Says:

    good luck with that darlin…

  2. Marilyn McNugget Says:

    I’m mystified by the small patch of hairlessness between that guy’s head hair and back hair. Did he somehow evolve with his genetics somehow knowing that part would always be visible, even while dressed?!?

  3. Abe Says:

    Ha “peen”.

  4. Ponderings Chick Says:

    haha this is great..although I am disturbed by the last photo…

  5. Subway Gal Says:

    The last picture scares me too, ladies. In fact, I think I had a nightmare about it last night . . .

  6. Jonathan Says:

    What is considered to be a small penis?

  7. Subway Gal Says:

    You aren’t the first guy to ask this question, Jonathan, and I probably should have given an explanation to go with that statement. So, here it is . . .

    It’s hard to describe what is small because it differs for each guy. If you are a tall guy and you have a 3 inch peen, it just doesn’t look right. However, if you have what is considered to be a small peen, but you use it well, then it doesn’t what size it is. Sure, the girl may laugh about the size at first with her friends, but they won’t be laughing after once they talk about the neat tricks it does.

    Hope this clears things up!

  8. lauren Says:

    Patrick why did you say good luck with that?

    Jill I think your SO right :)

  9. Zanther Says:

    Do you think there’s any difference between what a woman WANTS and what a woman goes for?

    I imagine she really does want a guy who will fetch her what she asks…but there’s a fine line between that and being whipped. It seems to contradict what I’ve been told about woman being attracted to a challenge or a guy who will say no to them.

  10. Subway Gal Says:

    Zanther, the answer to your question is, absolutely. Women want a sexy, well-endowed, rich man who will treat her well, but many women will go for a good-looking asshole who never calls. Fortunately, we usually outgrow this crazy stage sometime after college, so my advice to you, if you are indeed a sexy, nice man, is to go for a girl who is 22 or above because those are the ones who have been emotionally abused by the assholes and are ready for a nice guy.

3 Trackbacks For This Post

  1. Valentine’s Day Dos and Don’ts | SelfAbsorbed.ME : 'It's Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier' Says:

    [...] and diamond commercials, but c’mon dudes, we all know this is a day to treat your lady like a queen and thank her for all the times that she’s hauled your drunk ass home, or picked up your [...]

  2. Remember When. . . . | SelfAbsorbed.ME : 'It's Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier' Says:

    [...] Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. I remember the good ole days when they were America’s sweethearts. Before that blood [...]

  3. If I Were Invisible | SelfAbsorbed.ME : 'It's Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier' Says:

    [...] on his erection while he’s trying to have sex with this new girlfriend, or shoot him in his small peen with his own gun. Don’t feel bad; he deserves [...]

Leave a Reply




Header Art by Emma Cleary<
canadian pharmacy and levitra18 takes vardenafilBuy vardenafil Courier shippingladies levitraimpotence medicines levitra dosagelevitra query buy vardenafil levitravardenafil next daypotent levitranatural equivelant ingredient in vardenafilviagra cialis levitra buy viagralevitra benefitslevitra 90 pills onlinehighest safe dose of levitrasoft tabs vardenafillevitra online overnight deliveryOrder vardenafil Free Airmail shippingbuy levitra cheappurchase levitra 60 pillsOnline vardenafil 20 mgvardenafil pill orderwww levitra comonline levitra salesPurchase vardenafil pilllevitra super activeorder levitra from canadavardenafil to buy new zealandlowest price generic vardenafilvardenafil Free Airmail shippinggeneric levitra overnight deliverygeneric levitra pillslevitra prescription medicationlevitra pricesvardenafil 180 pillslevitra cialis viagra which is bettercomparison levitra pricegetting vardenafil in the philippinesfree trial of levitralevitra 10 pills salelevitra viagra pricesmoney order vardenafilcomparison study of viagra cialis levitraBuy vardenafil pilllevitrabuy levitra onlinefree levitra sample packlevitra uk suppliersgeneric levitraaustralia generic in levitra saleslevitra purchasediscount viagra cialis levitra onlinelowest price generic levitravardenafil perscription onlineonline vardenafil salesbuy vardenafil 10 pillsvardenafil no prescriptioncialis levitra pharmacy viagralevitra duration actiondiscount vardenafil pillslevitra uk chemistcheap levitra australiaship free vardenafil samplebuy viagra levitra alternative lavitraGeneric vardenafil onlinecanadian pharmacy levitravardenafil 20 mg ordervardenafil 20mg onlinevardenafil storycomparison levitradrug interactions with levitraSale vardenafil Airmail shippinggeneric soft tabs vardenafilcialis and levitra viagra generic brandlevitra user review6generic levitra cheapbuy levitra from canadavardenafil for sale without a prescriptionmail order vardenafillevitra salevardenafil for womenlevitra sex dominationwhere to buy vardenafilhow to buy levitraLevitra pills orderlevitra type productsdaily levitralevitra generikavardenafil buy onlinemaximum dosage levitralevitra rxlistmg levitra cirrhosisfree trial of vardenafillevitra andlevitra buy onlinefree levitra in the ukgeneric vardenafil vardenafilwhere to buy levitra without prescriptionalternative levitra useslevitra commentsoverdose levitrabuy levitra american pharmacydysfunction erectyle levitraorder levitra 30 pillscialis levitra viagra compareviagra cialis levitra differenzecanadian vardenafilcialis and levitra viagra online manufacturesfree vardenafil in the ukcheapest vardenafilonline pharmacy levitrafast delivery vardenafillevitra light switch platelevitra order form in uklowest prices for vardenafillevitra com20mg levitralevitra sale 32cheapest uk supplier vardenafillevitra interactionslevitra alternatives herbal supplementcost of vardenafilfake vardenafil2 levitra prescriptionvardenafil sexLevitra pill ordercom levitrahcl levitra vardenafilvardenafil without prescriptionvardenafil superwhat do levitra pills look likebuying vardenafil online in britainvardenafil attorneysvardenafil professionaltoo much levitravardenafil ukonlyvardenafil Airmail shipping onlinepurchase levitra onlinecoupon levitravardenafil attorney columbusPurchase Levitra pillviagra cialis levitra candian pharmacy safegeneric levitra priceslevitra lisinoprilorder Levitra 20 mgvardenafil online storelevitra cheapest lowest priceOnline Generic vardenafil 20 mgnatural equivelant ingredient in levitralevitra resultscialis levitrawiki levitra generic paxilovernight levitralevitra price comparisoncompare levitralevitra tabsPurchase Levitra Airmail shippingbuying vardenafil onlineciacil is this better then viagra and levitrafree sample of vardenafilvardenafil 100mglevitra free triallevitra lowest pricelevitra mexicolevitra generic formlevitra couponbuy cheap vardenafil onlinegeneric levitra vardenafilcomparison levitra viagra cialischeap levitra nzlevitra for menwhen will generic levitra be availablewhats works levitra cialis or viagraorder cheap levitra faslevitra adwhere to get levitravardenafil Courier shipping Buyvardenafil wholesale onlineeuropean levitrais there a female levitralevitra better than cialissoft levitra mastercardorder vardenafil 90 pillsvardenafil 20order levitra without prescriptioncheap price levitra made in indiabuy en language levitralevitra online shop in uklevitra uk cheap purchase buylevitra oral jellyvardenafil 20mgvardenafil effective timelevitra generic vardenafiluser review levitralevitra 50mgcomparison of levitracheap vardenafil nzlevitra manufacturerlevitra ukdiscount levitra genericherbal levitralevitra 20 pills onlinemexico vardenafillevitra generic cialisbuy sublingual vardenafil onlinevardenafil pricevardenafil online no prescriptionclaim status lawsuit for vardenafil2buy levitra onlinelevitra online overnightvardenafil 10 mg onlinelevitra online aGeneric Levitra 10 mg Salelevitra cost sell australiafree vardenafil samplelevitra 8 pills 109 free deliverylevitra generic levitralevitra in ukvardenafil usadrugs levitraBuy vardenafil Airmail shippingvardenafil substitutevardenafil soft tabsbuy canada vardenafilhow to buy vardenafilbuy australian levitraxenical levitra prevacidvardenafil for freelevitra levitra paypallevitra online drug stores flonase cialislevitra time to worklevitra at walmartvardenafil canadaLevitra Airmail shipping Buyeffects levitra sidevardenafil soft tabs onlinelevitra viagra cialisdifference between viagra and levitrageneric levitra effectivebuy levitra online without a prescriptionlevitra viagra vsuse levitraibuprofen cialis levitralevitra venditalevitra daily dosebuy levitra onlinevardenafil Airmail shipping Buylevitra professional mail order telephone numberPurchase Levitra Free Insurancerx levitrageneric vardenafil 20 mgnon presciption vardenafil replacementsthe buy levitralevitra young peopleoversea levitraOrder vardenafil pillscompare generic cialis pills to levitraOnline vardenafil 10 pillshow long is levitra activeOnline vardenafil pillsfree samples of vardenafilvardenafil salevardenafil 20mg salebuy vardenafil order vardenafillevitra without prescriptionsSale Levitra Airmail shippingvardenafil for cheap839 levitra 10 mg 1209levitra erectile dysfunctionbuy cheap vardenafildiscount levitra pharmacy purchaseto buy vardenafil howlevitra attorneysOnline Levitra Airmail shippinglevitra to increase pleasure sexbuy levitra on sale onlinebuying vardenafilwhere to buy levitravardenafil Free Insurance ordersoma and vardenafil prescriptions free vardenafillevitra singaporelevitra how it workslevitra to buy new zealandtadalafil vardenafilgeneric viagra levitra regalisbuy generic levitra cheapt 84 vardenafilbuy vardenafil canadalevitra generic reviewsonline viagra levitra cialisLevitra Free Insurancevardenafil discountsOrder Levitra pilllevitra 120 pillsonline levitra storeonline generic levitralevitra from canadavardenafil for womanrobin williams vardenafillevitra discountviagra levitra comparisonviagra levitra differencebuy vardenafil 20mgvardenafil on lineviagra cialis levitralevitra without a presriptionlevitra better than viagravardenafil suppositories ivfingredient in levitralevitra overdosevardenafil for teensvardenafil pill Saleovernight shipping of professional vardenafilvardenafil softtabswatermelon and levitralevitra studiesgeneric viagra levitra generic cialis pillsvardenafil indialevitra attorney columbuscost of levitra 20 mgsoft vardenafillevitra and bayerlevitra 20is vardenafil professional realbuy vardenafil onlivardenafil by postlevitra successvardenafil and alternativeson-line pharmacy levitrahow much levitra should i takebuy levitra online viagraLevitra pill Buyvardenafil couponvardenafil testosteronebuy vardenafil australiaLevitra 60 pills Buylevitra on salelevitra online cheaplevitra overseastexas vardenafil levitrabayer levitra cheapest pricelevitra cost of salestake levitracheaper viagra levitra cialisbuy levitra online canadalevitra professional onlineSale Levitra 20 mgvardenafil pillgeneric discount levitravardenafil 60 pills Buycomparison of viagra2c levitra and cialisfemale levitra creamcheapest vardenafil in ukgernic vardenafilfree sample of levitrawomen vardenafillevitra girlis levitra goodlevitra prescription on lineonline vardenafillevitra online prescriptioncom viagrauk alternative levitravardenafil drug prescription6buy generic levitravardenafil sex dominationnasacort aq metrogel levitra prescription drugsflomax levitraLevitra 120 pills orderLevitra Free Airmail shippingfree levitra onlinenatural herbal alternatives to vardenafilqry levitraop userinfo username buy levitra cheapmexican pharmacies levitravardenafil medicationLevitra 90 pills orderLevitra Airmail shipping orderhistoric price vardenafilcialisviagra cialis levitravardenafil samplesSale vardenafil 30 pillslevitra superlevitra or cialislevitra consumer informationOnline Levitra 20 pillslevitra side effects rashvardenafil order form in ukbuy sublingual levitra onlinegeneric name for levitrahow long is levitra effectivecialis and levitra online pharmacypurchase vardenafil 180 pillsfree sample pack of levitralevitra 2003 latestlevitra commercialOrder Generic Levitrabest price levitra onlinepurchase of levitracheapest price for levitraOnline Generic LevitraSale Levitra Free Airmail shippingbuy levitra wholesalelevitra market sharevardenafil over the counterlevitra generic soft tabcheap levitra salesgeneric version of levitradiscount levitrataking half a 20mg vardenafilvardenafil soft tab descriptionsafe maximum levitra dosageq vardenafil meta2buy levitra online viagrageneric vardenafil softlevitra vardenafil hci tabletsOnline Generic Levitra 10 mgbuy vardenafil 20 mglevitra viagra differencesmexican levitravardenafil orallevitra 20 mg photonatural vardenafilvardenafil from canadalevitra alcoholbuy vardenafil 30 pillslevitra sizepharmacy online message boards new levitralevitra in chinavardenafil substituteslevitra marketinglevitra prices walmartvardenafil 20mg tabcheap vardenafil silevitra levitra vardenafillevitra cialis viagra comparisondrug impotence levitralevitra doseslevitra worksvardenafil free trial packlevitra genericolevitra usagecheap levitra walmartnatural herbs used as levitralevitra 180 pills salelevitra from usabuy levitra on linevardenafil 180 pills salebuy levitra cheap onlinelevitra generic indiavardenafil Airmail shippingdiscount levitra online usLevitra 10mglevitra viagaraorder 50mg vardenafillevitra premature ejaculationcheap fast levitrageneric levitra tadalafilSale vardenafil 20 pillsSale Levitra 10 mglevitra line pharmacylevitra prescribing informationlevitra online no rxvardenafil penlevitra canadian drugslevitra infolevitra buyvardenafil tabletsdiscount levitra pillswhere to purchase viagra cialis levitralevitra tablelevitra malaysialevitra orderGeneric vardenafil 20 mgOrder vardenafil Airmail shippinglevitra softabsviagra cialis levitra vpxllevitra prescriptionsfree vardenafil samplesbuying levitra in mexicolowest price vardenafillevitra pricelevitra buy generichow safe is levitralevitra propafenonemortality rate vardenafil nitratesvardenafil safe levitra alternativebuy vardenafil online inulevitra canadaSale Generic vardenafil 10 mgvardenafil for daily usedrug levitra newlevitra preislevitra wikiSale vardenafil Courier shippingnatural equivalent ingredient in levitranatural herbs used as vardenafilviagra cialis levitra genericwhat does levitra doherbal v vardenafil studyvardenafil uselevitra samplelevitra side effects stuffy noseatenolol levitradanger levitracheap levitra pillsusing vardenafilcialis netfirms com generic levitra link viagralevitra side affectsbirth control levitra pilllevitra cost in mexicovardenafil reviewOrder vardenafil Courier shippinglowest prices levitrabuy levitra at msnrisperodol interactions with cialis viagra levitravardenafil dosage 20mglevitra over the counterlevitra pharmacyvardenafil levia and vardenafilGeneric vardenafil orderis generic levitra safediscount generic levitraLevitra pills onlinelevitra directionslevitra how does it worknew levitraLevitra 10 mg saleindia vardenafilsildenafil tadalafil vardenafilvardenafil gelPurchase vardenafil pillsproduct team vardenafilfor sale levitraon levitranatural levitracheap cheap levitrawhich is better3a viagra2c cialis or levitrabuy levitra onliBuy Generic Levitra 10 mgmail order levitra in ukvardenafil watermelonlevitra englandvardenafil tablets 20 mglevitra 60 pillssample levitradosing for levitrareviews for viagra cialis and levitranew drug vardenafilvardenafil pillsvardenafil costpharmacutical sales levitrabest levitra pricelevitra equivalentmedicine levitralevitra dosage 20mgorder discount levitravardenafil for orderlevitra storyOnline vardenafil 180 pillscheap levitra on linevardenafil online shop in uklevitra alternativesvardenafil herbal substitutecost levitra lowestsildenafil vardenafillevitra los angelescheapest price for vardenafilbest online generic levitravardenafil sverigeherbal vardenafil australiavardenafil 6 free samplesBuy vardenafil Free Airmail shippinggeneric for levitracost levitrapurchase vardenafil 10 pillslevitra overnighti have levitraorder vardenafil 20mgreviews levitralevitra with lisinoprilmale enhancement levitralevitra with out prescriptionbuy levitra delived next daygeneric vardenafillevitra cialis viagra onlinegeneric vardenafil softtabsbuy levitra doctor onlinelevitra not workingprescription drugs levitrabuy cheap generic levitra pharmacy onlinepurchase vardenafil 20 pillscialis and levitra viagra order pharmacyvardenafil for menlevitra for sale without a prescriptionLevitra 60 pills orderOnline vardenafil pillrate generic vardenafiluk levitra saleslevitra or viagralevitra 20mg tabletslevitra site submitvardenafil herb alternativeaddiction levitra


azithromycin zithromax rx non prescription buy amoxicillin no prescription required buy cheap tramadol online buy cheap tramadol online buy buy cheap viagra online buy cheap viagra online uk buy cheap viagra soft buy cialis delived fed ex buy cialis delived next day buy cialis doctor online buy cialis in the uk buy cialis online buy cialis online now buy cialis soft online buy cialis without prescription buy generic cialis online buy generic tramadol no prescription buy human growth hormone buy levitra online buy soma no prescription buy soma online buy soma online mexico buy soma online no prescription buy soma online without rx buy sublingual viagra online buy tramadol cheap medication buy tramadol for dogs buy tramadol free shipping buy tramadol no perscription buy tramadol online cod buy tramadol online no prescription buy tramadol online without a prescription buy tramadol online without a script buy tramadol online without prescription buy tramadol without a prescription buy viagra in canada buy viagra in england buy viagra in london england buy viagra in uk buy viagra meds online buy viagra on line buy viagra online buy viagra online at buy viagra online australia buy viagra online uk buy viagra online without prescription buy viagra order viagra buy viagra per pill buy viagra soft online buy viagra with pay pal buy viagra without prescription buying soma online without a prescription buying viagra online in britain cash on delivery tramadol cheap cialis sale online cheap tramadol cod free fedex cheap tramadol fedex overnight cheap tramadol without a prescription cheap tramadol without prescription cheap watson soma online cheaper way to buy propecia cheapest place to buy viagra online cheapest price for cialis cheapest tramadol available online cialis in uk online cialis no perscription non generic cialis no prescription non generic cialis soft tabs online cialis to buy new zealand cialis without a prescription cod accepted orders for tramadol cost of viagra in canada discount viagra perscription drug free sample prescription for viagra free viagra without prescription generic brands of viagra online generic cialis cheapest lowest price generic cialis from india how to buy viagra how to get propecia how to get viagra how to get viagra canada human growth hormone online human growth hormone pharmacy india viagra cialis vicodin low cost viagra online lowest cialis price online lowest price generic viagra lowest prices for cialis lowest prices on tramadol lowest tramadol price onlin mail order viagra in uk mexican rx cialis low price mexican rx cialis low priced mexico pharmacy generic viagra order cheap viagra fas order watson soma online over the counter form of zithromax over the counter viagra overnight shipping of professional cialis prescription drug called soma propecia lowest canadian pharmacies propecia without a prescription quick forum readtopic propecia none online rx cialis low price soma 350mg saturday delivery soma 350mg saturday fed-ex shipping soma and viagra prescriptions free viagra soma cheap without rx soma cod without prescription soma without a prescription tadalafil cialis from india tramadol cash on delivery saturday delivery tramadol cod saturday delivery tramadol no prescription fedex tramadol no prescription fed-ex tramadol no rx overnight cod tramadol pain killer without a prescription tramadol saturday delivery cod tramadol without a prescription tramadol without prescription free shipping viagra buy pharmacy viagra buy price viagra cheap buy online viagra cheap pharmacy viagra cheap price viagra discount viagra for sale without a prescription viagra mail order uk viagra next day delivery viagra no prior prescription viagra over the counter viagra sales online in uk viagra store in canada viagra uk cheap purchase buy viagra with out prescription viagra without a prescription watson brand soma without prescription where can i buy tramadol where can i buy viagra online where to buy viagra where to buy viagra in beijing where to buy viagra in canada where to buy zithromax where to get aderall and viagra where to order soma where to puchase cialis online zithromax without a prescription