Now I know a lot of my male readers aren’t going to like the title of this post, but there’s something 100% whacky going on. I don’t know if it’s the recession, the month of February, mid-winter illness or Valentine’s Day, but it seems the males my friends and I know are ‘invaded-by-pod-people’-level off their rocker batty this month.
Example 1: A guy falls in love with my friend. After happily being together five months he announces he just really ‘doesn’t have that strong feelings’ for her (direct quote, which he said to her face) and decides they shouldn’t see each other again. Ever. Two weeks later he’s calling her incessantly for four days in a row and even shows up at her apartment to drop off gifts. His intentions however, are still 100% unclear.
!?!??!!?!???
Example 2: My other friend had a highly unpleasant experience dating a party boy over the summer who now claims he’s ready to settle down and has subsequently moved in with her. He’s devoted in the sense that he cooks, brings her flowers and even takes her out to see chick flicks. Yet she knows his true colors will shine through eventually…(or will they?). It’s a complete 180 with no kind of logical explanation. She’s busy wondering what the Hell she did right (evidently nothing) and is just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for a party train to randomly land one night in their living room, at which point they can fight again like old times. So far, no sign of that happening.
!??!?!?!?!??!?
Example 3: A man who broke my friend’s heart over five-years ago and went on to get the next girl he dated pregnant, subsequently ending up with her, recently used facebook to re-find my friend. Now they’re facebook dating and he writes on her wall daily about his life, what he’s doing, and how they should try and get together soon.
!!?!!??!!?!??!
Stories like these serve to back up my friend’s non-linear dating theory which I wrote about a few months ago. She claims that men are utterly irrational and when they decide to settle down and be emotionally available is an incalculable enigma. It has nothing to do with who they’re dating, but more of a random switch that goes off in their cerebellum that says, ‘quit hunting now.’ Commenters protested that this is a gross simplification of men and how their minds work (and I agree), yet with the amount of men married to the wrong people and their seemingly out-of-the-blue and random partner choices and incongruent actions, one can’t help but think something screwy is going on.
Women are insane too, yes, I agree. I’ve admitted that many times.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I think it’s a combination of winter and the recession. I know it all makes me feel a little psycho…however those that you mention are extreme cases. No excuse for such craziness!
February 18th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Wait. Let me get this straight. It’s just wayyyyy to unbelievable.
You have THREE friends?!?!!!
February 18th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Men are illogical, inexplainable creatures so there is no rhyme or reason for what they do or why they do it. I’ve pretty much given up on trying to decipher their actions because it’s just impossible.
February 18th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Have you ever heard of the rubber band effect. Apparntly guys, (espescially for example one) when things start getting a bit more into it in the relationship, pull away from the girl, realise they like her and come crawling back just like a rubber band. I think it might be the same for example 3 but he got caught with a kid so couldn’t come back. OH with Example 2, he is either head over heels for your mate or he’s trying to prove to himself or someone else that he can change.
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Well thats my guess but hey im only 19 and I’m from Australia so maybe things run a little different over here. [ loving the frays cover of heartless
February 18th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Many guys are deranged. I blame the media. And man periods.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
What do you think causes a man period? Interesting concept…
February 19th, 2009 at 1:39 am
I’ve actually read that men experience a similar hormonal “cycle” just like women do, and their moods/emotions may vary and fluctuate accordingly. And I mean, men have colons, why not periods too? And the penis is not unlike an exclamation point. Punctuation and anatomy have a lot in common.
February 19th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Uh-oh. I think I just got my extreme form of punctuation. Sad face.
February 19th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Marilyn, the hormonal explanation makes a lot of sense. But the colon/exclamation point/period part was a knee slapper
February 19th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I totally agree about the man periods. Men are just impossible to understand. And the picture from The Shining is perfect…lol.
February 21st, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Women: insane?
Example 1: Hot girl makes out with me in club. She trips and falls down a flight of stairs when we come from outside. I carry her down Las Vegas Boulevard all the way to boardwalk from caesars palace. On the way back, she starts sobbing and says she has a bf that will kick the shit out of me. I leave her at boardwalk hotel lobby.
Example 2: A girl at work and me have lunch in the lunchroom for 30 minutes. We have a great conversation and she asks if i want to do it again 2morrow. I agree. The next day there is a crowd of people in the lunch room, she pops in and says she cant today, but definitely tomorrow. The next day i’m there, she’s a no show. I run into her after lunch, she laughs and smiles and asks me how my lunch went, and says she went to lunch with her friend. Later that day, during overtime, she comes up to me and asks if im angry or anything about being ‘dissed’. I say quietly I didn’t say anything about it. She then proceeds to explain how a girl co-worker was making fun of her, saying she was pimping on me, and laughs, apologizing, saying she dissed me. I just play it off, and have lunch at my desk from then on.
Example 3: A girl agrees to go to dinner with me. Later she changes the date b/c she’s busy one day. I ask her if she likes seafood. She says no no dinner for me, how bout some coffee. I say fine, 2morrow, X time. When we actually call (txting up to this point), i suggest starbucks. She says “whhhaat? have u eaten yet?” to which i say “no” she said “pick some place to eat, i’ll get a drink while u get a dinner”. I’m at a complete loss at this point.
Counter example: I meet a girl at a bar, who calls days later, and we end up hanging out a few times. NEVER is coy about meeting up X time and Y place. Later on we end up going to a house party, she drives me so i can get f*cked up, and even asks what kind of beer i prefer so it will be at the party. We just dance and I get drunk all night.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
I could answer your question for you if you wanted MMB. Just say the word and I’ll write the article for women.
And Johnny DOe, as she mentioned at the end of her article, women are crazy too. And more specifically:
Example 1: She was drunk
Example 2: Why are you going for a woman who says “diss”?
Example 3: Yeah… that one was crazy
February 25th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Yeah, mea culpa MMB and Nick, didn’t read that part.