I’m pleased. The above picture–a stunning portrait of the floor of my room–perfectly captures the disorder and distraction that defined this week.

Using the same structure as my previous six-word by six-subject stories, I humbly present my week in review (minus Sunday, the day of rest, which is always spent idly): a series of events that contributed to my complete lack of productivity.

Monday: A cake attack wounds my ego.

Tuesday: Let’s get one drink. Oops. Drunk.

Wednesday: Eighties music videos aid hangover recovery.

Thursday: I’m giddy. A bromance is afoot!

Friday: My boss called me “Stacy.” Wrong.

Saturday: KMart is cheap! Impractical purchases ensue.