Shockingly, or not, I’m not what you would call “domestic.” Don’t get me wrong, I love things to be clean and, most importantly, neat, because I’m crazy like that, but I would rather walk through hot coals than cook. To me, cooking is a waste of time and, quite frankly, I just don’t have the time or patience for it.
On the other hand, I will clean the apartment - wash floors, clean the bathroom and even dust, if I’m forced against my will to do so - but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I enjoy it. I do it because it needs to be done and because of my unnatural need for cleanliness and neatness.
However, I feel that everyone, from television, with the creation of such fictional icons as JuneClever and Marge Simpson, to my own mother, is in on a conspiracy to make me feel bad about not having, and acting on what should be my natural domestic instincts. When my boyfriend told my mother his tale of woe - that I don’t cook for him and, gasp, he is in fact the one who does most of the cooking - she nodded sympathetically and tried to guilt me into cooking at least one big meal a week. To which I replied, “I don’t have to and you can’t make me!”
When others hear about how my boyfriend does most of the cooking and helps me with the cleaning, they are shocked and quite impressed. Imagine that! A man doing “woman’s work.” Well I have a newsflash for those people - IT ISN’T 1950 ANYMORE! Here in 2009, most women work. They actually have jobs outside of the home, much like a man, believe it or not, and therefore should no longer be expected to do all of the housework. After a long day at work, and I’m sure most women will agree, I am exhausted, and the last thing I want to do is cook, or clean, and I shouldn’t have to feel ashamed by that. In fact, next time I tell people tales of me swiffering the floors, or cleaning the bathroom, I expect people to be impressed. In fact, I expect people to tell my boyfriend that he is the lucky one for finding a woman who will share the household chores with him instead of dumping them all on him. And I want a trophy too. I know that may seem a bit “over the top” but I’m the one in charge of cleaning the bathroom in my apartment and the last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who peed all over and around the toilet with my peen, yet I am the one who cleans it. And if that’s not worth a trophy, then I don’t know what the hell is.
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March 5th, 2009 at 8:12 am
AMEN!!! I am EXACTLY the same way. I hate to cook, and I’m severely OCD - so I will gladly clean because it has to be done. I’m lucky to have a husband who does all the cooking and helps clean. But I find I’m the only one cleaning the damn toilets, which is slightly annoying.
So don’t you feel bad! The times have changed and there’s nothing wrong with that! After I work all day, I don’t feel the slightest bit badly about passing out on the couch.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Oh gosh, I love cooking! And cleaning!
March 5th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Good luck getting a ring on that finger…
Kidding! My girlfriend actually can’t cook to save her life either (I’ve recommended cooking classes for us to do a a couple) and I end up doing the cooking- although we are both pretty equal on cleaning and such.
The surprising fact is that the stuff you’re writing is so surprising to so many people.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I love this. I’m Indian, and I think my parents’ whole sense of being has been shattered by the fact that I don’t know how to cook and have no interest in learning. If I can get by on PB&J sandwiches, or coffee and toast, or anything else that takes about 5 minutes to prepare, and I’m okay with it, what’s the problem? I’m perfectly content with my non-domestic status just as it is. My guy friends shake their head and tsk-tsk when they find out I don’t cook, but damn, does anyone realize how hard it is to make authentic Indian food? If I can go home every other weekend and have my mom’s meals , then, strictly speaking, is it necessary for me to go through the ordeal of figuring out which combination of the 325 spices used in Indian food needs to go into a certain curry? Honestly now.
March 7th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
if you cook you should never be asked to clean up the mess in the kitchen…i just don’t get it you certainly didnt get it from your mother who all should know is a fabulous cook and she works as well…