Earlier this evening as I stalked around Facebook checking to see what my old high school friends and casual acquaintances were up to, I saw something that made me sick. I saw people that I went to high school with, who are supposed to be much unhappier than I am, looking . . . joyful. It didn’t seem right to me. My life is great! I have my own apartment, that I share with my long-term boyfriend, and go off to my big PR job in the city every day, yet there is my old chemistry partner staring back at me with photos of her new baby posted, and news of her engagement re-posted as a new status update every five minutes. Nevermind that I shouldn’t wish to trade places with a woman who had to get knocked up in order to get a ring, all of a sudden I had an expensive apartment that I shared with my boyfriend who has not yet proposed, in a building where the neighbors talk about us in Yiddish, and I go off to work every morning to a place that stresses me out on a daily basis and makes me contemplate killing myself. My supposed great life was forgotten and all of a sudden things weren’t looking all that glamorous any longer.
And then I come across my sworn worst-enemy who I don’t remember why we are enemies in the first place because I suffered short-term memory loss as a result of a car accident right before my senior year of high school (true story). Instead of turning into the fat lesbian I pictured her to be, she’s married. And she’s not fat. In fact, she may have lost weight. And it looks good on her.
And my ex-boyfriend? He’s married. To my sworn-worst enemy!
And then I find the high-school sweethearts, Mr. High School Quarterback and Ms. Head Cheerleader (seriously). Well, now they’re married, he’s fighting for our country and she just gave birth to their third child. WTF?!?! Where the hell is my husband and my baby?!?! After 26 years, I have finally come to accept that I will never have a job that I can love, and that fairytale love does not exist and there is no soul mate out there searching for me, and then something like this happens. It’s unnatural. You can’t just expect me to believe that people can be just that happy, do you? I mean, do you believe it??
At the end of the evening, I walked away with a very important lesson from this exercise. Facebook is not there to make you feel good about yourself. You can post as many happy, drunk photos as you want and change your status update several times a day with false messages of money, sex and happiness, but you will always come across someone who is doing better than you. And this fact will not make you happy.
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March 10th, 2009 at 9:02 am
hahahah this was funny
(ps no, I don’t believe it)
March 10th, 2009 at 9:11 am
I hate when all the mommies post status updates about their life with kids, like: “Waiting for Suzi to come in off the swing set” “Ordering a new living room set,” “Watching Dora the Explorer with the girls.” Seriously NO ONE cares. And that’s usually why no one leaves comments by those messages.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:04 am
i know what you mean. and i don’t believe it, either. i think those people are hiding something. they can’t really be that freakin happy all the time.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Not a single one of these people sound cool. They sound like they are living my worst nightmare. Three kids?! High school husband!? They’re probably suicidal.
March 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
ahahaha
March 13th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
For real though.I’m just trying to figure out why that girl who hated me in high school adds me with the message, “hey girl!” I’m soooo confused…
March 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
fucking great HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
March 17th, 2009 at 12:12 am
i engage in this activity often and have the same thoughts and feelings. this is why i make my profile out to look like my life is better than everyone elses. and way to go on being friends with your sworn ex-best friend enemy. mine is blocked entirely
March 18th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
No, they are not cooler than they appear. Don’t believe in all the credit people try to give themselves, a lot of that is a load of crap. Games are still being played, one person trying to “outdo” the other, like we are still in school…
To tell the truth a lot of them are probably up to their necks in bullshit and are probably unhappy with the situations they are in…
Also the people with three kids is a nightmare and that’s their headache not mine, I’m certainly not jealous…
September 20th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
That is precisely the idea. To pretend that you are great, and to prompt the rest of the world to compete with that. Reality is usually quite different.