As I often find myself thinking about the things I don’t have (yet) and wanting them, I can’t help wonder if, when I get those things, I’ll be truly happy. Chances are, probably not. Why? Because as soon as I get what I want, what I’ve worked so hard to get, it will slowly start to lose it’s appeal and something else that I really want, but can’t have, will take it’s place. Sick cycle, right? So call me selfish or spoiled or psychotic, but you know you know what I’m talking about. And, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Our culture programs us to be this way. No matter who you are and what you already have, you will always want more.

So, does this mean that even though Boyfriend and I are together now and may one day end up married, I’ll eventually yearn for someone else? Then why even bother getting married in the first place? Maybe people aren’t meant to be with only one person for the rest of their lives.

And one day if I were to I get my soap opera star dream job, it might not make me really really happy? It might not actually make me enjoy going to work each morning or prevent me from locking myself in a room and crying in the middle of the day because I’m so stressed out?

No matter how hard I try to fight it, because it depresses the hell out of me, I can’t stop myself from wanting more. Bought a new living room furniture set? Already yearning for a new bedroom set and whining about life not being fair since you can’t afford one. New ipod classic for Christmas? Pissed that it’s not a nano. One point five carat engagement ring? Wondering how much an upgrade to two would be and if you could keep it a secret? Blessed with a nice-sized 32C cup? Setting up a consultation with a plastic surgeon for an upgrade to a D.  Having sex with one hot guy? Dreaming of a threesome with two hot guys. You see what I’m talking about.

Am I just being a greedy brat, or is life just really this unfair?  It’s ok, I can handle the truth (not really).