As someone who’s become absurdly addicted to yoga, it’s only natural that I want to master yoga’s coolest move – the headstand, a pose skinny people with ‘OM’ tattoos enter into with the ease of stepping off an escalator. Their stomach muscles contract, they walk their feet toward their forehead and then grow upward with seeming simplicity until their feet dangle peacefully above their head and they chill out in a meditative state for 5-minutes or more.
My main reservation: Neck breakage and consequential paraplegia.
Does no one else foresee life in a wheel chair when they attempt balancing upside down in their head?
Yet in an effort to be part of the cool club, I haven’t let my reservations hold me back. I mastered doing the move against the comfort of a firm wall, and discovered something quite fascinating.
I love being upside down.
In any yoga class you go to, they’ll talk about ‘inversions’ and how these poses allow you to immediately clear your mind and see the world from a completely refreshed perspective. It’s like rebooting your computer or swapping out every song on your iPod. Headstanding at home, not only do I notice crumbs, lost Doritos, and carpet stains invisible to me while vertical, but my breath slows down and existence on this planet doesn’t seem like that big a deal.
That huge project at work – comical.
That relationship that just failed – hilarious.
The world economy – cyclical.
I find myself close to smirking and then I have to remind myself to truly meditate because if you start laughing up there you’ll topple over faster than I can say ‘broken lamp.’
It’s come to my attention that upside down-ness, along with other such childish pursuits, may be the key to stress reduction we’re all looking for. And it’s cheaper than a shrink or self help book. Even if you think yoga is nutty (which trust me, I did for years) find a way to hang out upside down for a while. When you come down, I guarantee you the world will seem like a slightly better place.
Of course, I’ve become dependant on the wall like a bad boyfriend. I crave independence from it the same way I craved to fly when I was five, except this I have some hope of truly achieving, even if the odds seem slim. Then yesterday in class my teacher tells me I’m utilizing the wall incorrectly and overextending my back. Apparently, I should roll up to a half-headstand farther away from the wall and rest the soles of my feet with bent legs on it before trying to extend my legs up.
My response: “That sounds scary.”
Still eager to be part of the cool club without being forced to tattoo OM on my wrist, I tried it. It’s a miracle everyone else in their stands didn’t collapse out when Ba-Bum-Ba-CRASH ensued as I toppled over sideways hitting every body part I had on the wall on my way down.
This is the yoga equivalent of dropping your tray in the high school cafeteria.
While I’m still soaked in humiliation, two positives developed from my tumble.
1. I’m no longer that worried about breaking my neck (if that didn’t do it, I’m not sure what could.)
2. My codependency on the wall is over. Because here’s the thing – even if headstanding in the center of the room is scary, if you fall forwards, you just tuck your neck and somersault out of it (I’ve seen aforementioned OM-tattooed people do this with the grace of a ballerina). But if you fall forward at a distance from the wall you’re only option it go sideways, hitting the wall on your way down.
Sometimes it takes a fall on the head to get you away from the sidelines, and into the center of the room.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:58 pm
In one of my gym classes in high school we did some handstand stuff. While it’s certainly cool to be able to do a handstand, if being upside down is what you want it’s pretty simple to rest your shins on your elbows and tip onto your head that way without having to balance with your legs vertically.