Metrosexual, Homosexual, or Just a Sexual Predator?

Yesterday evening while I was at the gym workin the ole hamstrings, a random man came over to me and asked if I’d been to a certain cafe in the area. No, I had not been to said cafe, but, as it turns out, a girl who looks just like me had! Yes, it seems [...]

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Live Blogging a NYC Move

7pm – Arrive home from work to find your formerly sexy apartment has been transformed into visual depression. Ugly moving boxes you stole off the street are stacked up to your ears and half a decade of souvenirs, memorabilia, take-out menus and unpacked pots and pans are strewn throughout, as if placed by a hurricane. [...]

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Dear Women’s Health Magazine; F* You

Dear Women’s Health; Fuck you. I am sick of you telling me what to do every month. You arrive in my mailbox just to prove to me what a lazy slob I am according to your female “experts”. Who the hell are these women who eat granola every day, run five miles, drink ten gallons of [...]

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Get Your Crossbows - It’s Tourist Season

So after a cripplingly cold winter, that pussy “global warming” has finally decided to show it’s face in the form of some skin-blistering 90-degree April days and the neverending Mister Softee song outside my window. About fucking time! As much as I love the onset of warm weather in New York, it also brings with it [...]

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Living Alone to Living Together

So everyone says the same exact thing when you first move into your own place..”Ohhh you will be lonely at first, but eventually you will learn to love it!”   And I may be the only person to disagree with that…for me , it was the opposite. At first, coming home was like having Christmas every single day…. There [...]

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My Secret Shame

Earlier this week, Boyfriend was watching a story about the torture debate on Keith Olbermann on MSNBC, and I was trying to tell him about Lindsay Lohan’s breakup with she-man Samantha Ronson that I was reading about on Perez Hilton. “This is really important,” he scolded. “You should care about this.” “Ummmmm I do freakin [...]

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Peer Pressure at 27?

  Have you ever seen those commercials where there are three or four kids all sitting around and one of them suggests that they start smoking some weed or ‘banjo’ or ‘pipecleaners’ or whatever it is the kids are calling it these days…and there is always one child…one small beautiful delicate child that feels as though [...]

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Moving. Alone. In New York.

Moving. Is there anything on the planet more stressful? Years ago, I wrote a Model Behavior guide to apartment hunting in New York. Ah how the times have changed! In my former guide, I warned Manhattan apartment seekers to be ready to ‘take a place on the spot,’ often ‘without even seeing it.’ Those old New York rules [...]

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A Medium-Rare Encounter

Yesterday morning, after attempting to go caffeine-less until noon, I caved at 11:17 and rose to get my first cup. “Ooh, gosh,” I heard Sushi Girl exhale. I turned. “What?” “Well, just so you’re aware, that skirt shows off some serious underwear lines.” “Great. Really? Is it that bad?” “Yeah. I’d like, just take them off if I were you.” “Ugh. [...]

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Wait, Are Killer Jokes Not Funny Anymore?

So the problem when two people spend too much time together, besides contracting an ugly case of meningitis, is the ability to not be able to distinguish your own personal jokes, from actual jokes…And by “actual” jokes, I do mean, things that “other people would laugh at.” In my boyfriend’s and I recent obsession [...]

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