SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Earlier this evening, towards the end of the work day, I was contemplating updating my Facebook status to something like, “Thank god I don’t have to listen to my clients bitch at me for two days,” but then I paused. Do I really want my co-workers and former clients who friended me to see that?, I wondered. Hell no. So then I thought about updating my status to say something like, “Going out to get fucked uppppppppp tonight!,” but then I wondered, do I really want aunts and uncles to see that? Helllllllll no.

Wait, what? When did Facebook stop being the cool social networking site that allowed people to connect with their friends and maybe some select family members and feel free to say whatever they wanted? Why is Grandma all of a sudden on Facebook and commenting on the photos of me drunk and making out with a stranger? Facebook, you became a whore. What once was only available to a select few, is now open to absolutely anyone. And now our privacy is gone. We are reduced to hiding behind fake blog personas so that we can be free to blog about our foreign sexcapades or our bad habits and not worry about being found out. Unless of course we hand out business cards with our blog’s url on it to everyone we know.

Point is, Facebook aint what it used to be. It evolved and we don’t like what it has turned into. Kind of like how everyone loved Jennifer Grey in “Dirty Dancing,” but the only job she could get post-nose job, was as Rachel’s frienemy on “Friends.” Sometimes change isn’t good.

Over night it seems, Facebook has morphed into some sort of monster that threatens people’s privacy. Take for example, my poor, younger sister who becomes terrified when my dad torments her by threatening to join Facebook. Boyfriend was just telling me a story this evening about one time when he and his brother were having a friendly Facebook disagreement about something totally not important and his great aunt commented telling the boys to try and get along and not fight with each other. “I don’t want her seeing my conversations and getting involved!,” he complained. I agree. Behavior like this is inappropriate, unnecessary and will only lead to more in-family violence.

But don’t despair! You know it’s only a short matter of time before some genius in college discovers an even better social networking that includes the powers of not only Facebook but also Twitter. Maybe here, in this super social networking site, will we again have the freedom to speak candidly and not have to worry about what other people will think.