SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

A few years ago I used to have a thing for basketball players, which I think began when I dated one freshman year in college. I thought basketball players were super-hott and I was convinced that I needed to marry one.

Then Boyfriend got me into football (RAVENS!!), and I kind of forgot about my obsession with basketball and its sexy players. Until recently.

I got pulled into the Bulls/Celtics playoff series that’s going on (game Seven is happening RIGHT NOW!!) because the games have actually been really exciting. I’ve also decided that I’m rooting for the Bulls, not because I’m from Chicago - I’ve actually never even been there - but because the Celtics are obnoxious and there are quite a number of attractive men on the Bulls, three of whom I’ve fallen in love with . . .

I’ve fallen so far in fantasy love that I’ve decided to add them to “The List” (of people you’re allowed to sleep with when your in a relationship), along with Seth McFarlane, T.I. and Lil Wayne. I wanted to make sure that Boyfriend and I were on the same page about this and if ever I should be approached by one of the men on “The List” he should let me do my slutty thing, no questions asked. Then, after it was over, we could go back to the way things were (assuming the man doesn’t instantly fall in love with me and we become engaged). The other night, as Boyfriend and I were watching game six of the Bulls/Celtics series, decided to broach the subject with him . . .

ME: So, if we were still just dating and one of the guys on my list, like Joakim Noah or Kirk Heinrich asked me out one night, you would let me go, right?

BOYFRIEND: Um, no.

ME: Why not?! An opportunity like this comes around only once in a lifetime and if I were presented with it, I think it would be really selfish of you to prevent me from going on the date.

BOYFRIEND: Why would you want to let yourself be used for one night of meaningless sex when you know that you will never hear from the guy again after it’s over?

ME: Because it will be a good story to tell my grandchildren one day.

BOYFRIEND: I’m not going to allow my girlfriend to cheat on me, and if you do, I’ll break up with you.

Sensing this conversation was going nowhere, I decided to change the subject and let Boyfriend get used to the idea before I brought it up again.

But seriously, wouldn’t you take the opportunity to engage in a night of crazy sex (or a quickie marriage if you’re able to drug him and drag him to Vegas - not that I’ve put much thought into the idea) if presented with the opportunity? I certainly would, and I hope that in the end Boyfriend would understand and support my decision to cheat on him. I know that if the tables were turned and he were presented with the opportunity to have sex with Megan Fox, I wouldn’t deny him that chance. Megan Fox is super-hott, and I wouldn’t want to be the person who is forever known as being the one who denied Boyfriend the chance to sleep with her.

So, what do you think? Even if someone is in a relationship, should they be allowed to sleep with someone on their “List” if presented with the  opportunity, or am I just being a bad, whoreish girlfriend?