SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

It was the first time I have ever thought about getting someone else in trouble.

I have never been that kind of girl…I mean we all cheated on some kind of test…snuck out from work early….threw a Yorkie off a penthouse..wait, maybe I am I thinking of RENT…

Regardless, I am not the kind of person to ‘Report’ a Facebook photo.

But this was beyond ridiculous.

An acquaintance of mine was spread eagle on a picnic table with a random guy putting a golf ball off her, umm,  baby maker.

Now we have all been there, personally I spent half of my 20’s falling asleep in the bushes outside McFaddens . And we all have those photos we look back at and think maybe it was time for rehab…or to be sent to the middle of nowhere like Miley Cyrus in that Hannah Montana movie, where we take care of a farm and horses, whining and screaming until finally we fall in love with the land and can’t go back to the city to be a rockstar because I just can’t go back SWEETJESUSDONTTAKEMEBACKMILEY!

And all this is well and good live your life, have fun, enjoy it…but why on earth would you post this shit on THE internet?

Keep your naughty stuff to yourself.

People are so worried these days about who can see their profile…well how about you stop posting items dirtier than Britney’s scalp on your page?

I just don’t understand the need to put these kinds of photos on Facefuck. Is Putting Green looking at  the different angles of her roast beef curtains thinking, “Now THIS is something all 600 of my friends should see.”

I am not saying we should all have neck-up photos of us reading the Bible. In fact I am sure even if the disciples had some kind of A.D. Facebook made with rocks and dinosaur rawhide, and there was at least be one or two scandalous photos of Jesus…drinking wine, making out with women….moving friggen rocks.

But I would hope someone would step up and say, “Listen Jesus, that photo of you sipping pig’s blood off that slave’s stomach..well, that has to go.”