SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

So, did you all see the President’s speech to Congress earlier this evening about healthcare?

NO??

TRAITOR!!!

Just kidding. I actually didn’t see much of it myself. I was busy putting stuff away and walking around the apartment aimlessly. But I did catch parts of it and I thought those parts were very good. But that wasn’t what really interested me most about the speech. What I was focused on was what was going on behind President Obama.

Seated there, behind the President were his two loyal comrades, bored Nancy Pelosi and bitter Joe Biden. Those two are supposed to be Obama’s posse, but if you really looked at them, you saw how much they really cared about what their dear friend and fearless leader was saying . . . .

Joe Biden: He really thinks he’s hot shit, doesn’t he?

Nancy Pelosi: God! This is so f*cking boring.

Joe Biden: He thinks he’s sooooo smart with his colorful tie, big words, charming personality and big, phony smile.

Nancy Pelosi: I’ve actually fallen asleep behind this frozen mask I’ve contorted my face into.

Jode Biden: I don’t think he’s that impressive. He hasn’t really even accomplished anything yet.

Nancy Pelosi: Do I have bowling league tonight? Oooo I hope so! I bought a new big, pink ball that I can’t wait to play with tonight!

Joe Biden: In fact, I bet - no - I know, I would have made a better President. Healthcare reform would be accomplished by now! The jobless rate would be at less than one percent and all of our troops would be home!

Nancy Pelosi: Oh darn it! I had bowling league last week. Guess that means quality time with the husband! Grrrrrrrrrrrreat.

Joe Biden: Way to screw that up, America! If you’re unappy with the job the President is doing, well then you only have yourselves to blame.

Nancy Pelosi: Maybe I can fake a migraine and beg off to bed early.

Joe Biden: I tried to tell you! I bet President Joe Biden doesn’t sound too bad right about now, does it?

Nancy Pelosi: Maybe Joe will be interested in grabbing a beer after this. He looks to be just as happy as I am to be here.

Joe Biden: Nancy’s not looking too bad today. She actually, kind of, looks sexy. I think it has something to do with the pearl necklace she’s wearing. Maybe I can get her drunk after this and get her to take her clothes off.