SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

So it’s been over a week since I first posted about my unbelievable connection with a guy I saw in a bar and then later advertised for on the internet. Since then, we’ve been on two (and a half) dates.

Let me start this off by saying I haven’t been on a real “date” (like first date date) since probably April of 2007. And while it was so extremely unlikely that this guy would see and respond to my ad, making it absolutely necessary that I meet him, I’m learning that dating someone you didn’t know beforehand (like a friend or friend of a friend) is fraught with different, interesting potholes than just, say, hooking up with the guy in cubicle next to you (whole different story.)

For instance, when you go out with someone you already know, you probably already know them well enough to like them. Or, you don’t know them very well but you still like them (or at least think you do.) In this situation, I had set myself up to go out with an absolute stranger, with whom I had never exchanged a word in person.

Do I like this guy? I don’t even really know him. He’s good-looking, I guess. Is it worth my time to get to know him? Maybe if I spend enough time with him I’ll start to really like him. Isn’t that a little forced and artificial? What if he’s boring? Does he like me? Does he think I’m hideous? I DON’T KNOW. It can be very stressful and I can see why women and people in general are often mistaken for crazies when put into a first/second date scenario. There’s a lot of variables and uncertainty.

Anyway, onto the juice. So despite all the anxiety I was having because of the aforementioned factors, I met this guy to go out. Our first date/meetup/whatever you wanna call it, was at a bar that I chose which is near my apartment because it’s convenient for me, and so I could escape easily if he tried to attack me with any number of sharp objects. Anyway, I met him outside the bar where I (re-)introduced myself and shook his hand. Interesting way to start an evening…

Truth be told, there’s not a lot to say about the date. It was completely fine. The guy is totally normal and quite nice. He offered to buy all the drinks, and while I know I have said in the past that I want men to pay for everything because I’m broke as a joke, I decided that makes me sort of uncomfortable in this scenario, considering we don’t know each other all that well and aren’t boning on the regular, so we took turns buying rounds (though it was very kind for him to offer.)

We had really easy and comfortable conversation. The most remarkable thing to mention is probably the fact that we have a TON in common: same major in college, similar families, same taste in music and movies. Almost eerie how similar we seem to be. (And not because I googled the crap out of him before we went out. You know, just to make sure there weren’t any warrants out for his arrest or anything. It’s a legitimate thing to do! Don’t judge me.)

Now that I think about it, maybe the reason I was so comfortable was that I hadn’t eaten dinner, and halfway through my second (fairly strong) gin & tonic, I was pretty tipsy. And slurring. And having difficulty pronouncing the word, “should.” The good news is that while I did feel slightly embarrassed for being a bit drunk, I didn’t know this guy well enough or have enough stock in our “relationship” to really give a shit or worry about it too much. I was also cursing like it’s my job, because that’s just how I talk. Normally not a concern, until I noticed this guy had yet to drop a single F-bomb into casual conversation. Look, whatever, I am who I am (a vulgar drunk) and if you don’t like it, then I guess we just weren’t meant to be. (Yes I follow my own dating tips.) I hoped that I wasn’t offending him with my crass language, but that if I was, that he was really really offended, because if you’re gonna do something, you do it right, obvy. (PS I love parentheses.)

So after the bar I remembered that I was fucking starving, which was partially responsible for my unusually “open” state. We went to a nearby 24 hour diner, got some eats, and then called it a night. The date ended with a hug on my doorstep – it was awkward, but mostly because I’m awkward, especially when it comes to physical contact with someone I’ve only just met., and he offered to call me to set up plans for the following week.

Well obviously we went on a second date and another is planned for tomorrow. So there you have it folks. At least 1% of the people who read Craig’s List missed connections are not murderers (actually just me and this guy, I think.) That, or he’s just biding his time while he comes up with a place to bury my body. But if he does kill me, we’re friends on Facebook now so I think the cops will find him pretty easily. Facebook - connecting people and fighting crime. Is there anything it can’t do?!

[Oprah image from usnews.com]