SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Last night over a few beers at Happy Hour with my cousin, I was explaining to him why it should be acceptable in society for women to have more than one husband. Polyandry they call it. The reason being because if you’re honest about it, no one man can fulfill a woman in every way possible for her entire life. In fact, if you were to ask married couples who have actually stuck it out and been together for awhile, I’m willing to bet that most will say that their mate doesn’t completely satisfy them in every way possible.

It is for this reason that I believe we as a society need to come together and make it ok for women to have more than one husband. And before you say that’s sexist against men, lest us not forget that in countries in the Middle East, it’s totally ok for a man to have several wives but not vice versa. So, I think every woman needs one man to fulfill each of the following needs (in no particular order):

• lust (i.e. sex)
• emotional support (i.e. cuddling and hugs)
• strength (i.e. someone to protect me when I piss off the wrong person and am about to get my ass kicked)
• brains (i.e. someone to tell me about important things in the world that I should know more about, but don’t, because I spend way too much time on other “news” Web sites like PerezHilton.com).
• financial support (i.e. someone with enough money so that I don’t have to work ever again. Or at least someone who can pull his half of the weight, and then perhaps a little extra).

When you think about it, it’s really quite unfair to ask a woman, in all her hotness, to be with one man for her entire life. And on the other hand, it’s incredibly unfair to ask one man to be all-of-the-above to one woman. When you really think about it, how man men do you know that possess all of those qualities? And if you know at least one, is he single? Straight? Can I have his number?

While the implementation of polyandry into our culture may make sense to you and I, other people may not quite see it the same way. Being in more than one relationship at one time is considered to be in poor taste in our society. But that’s because people equate being with multiple partners with the act of infidelity, and that’s not exactly the case with polyandry. See, if we made practicing polyandry ok (perhaps passed a law?) as long as  you were out in the open with your husbands about it, then you aren’t actually breaking the law, or your marital vows, by being married to more than one man at the same time. Just imagine how much happier people would be. I’m happier just thinking about it! It may seem taboo at first, but I think if enough people got behind the idea, in time, it would seem as normal, and acceptable, as meetng your mate on the Internet. Agree??

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