SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Dear Monday Morning,

Monday Morning I have been thinking about you a lot recently. And not simply because you are here…right now…in my face…with your arms up in the air, ready to punch me square in the nose.

Some people quite enjoy you. In fact they feed off of you, getting revved up for the rest of their week, simply by your presence. Me on the other hand, I beg to differ on this so called ’joy’ and ‘energy’ you inflict on others.

MM, you remind me that I am in fact not an heiress and have to work for a living. Which is something I don’t need to be reminded of, I could simply sit with a glass of wine and a quaalude, pony up like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous, making comments about ‘time’ and ’space’ and forget this whole ‘im a normal person’ part of my life.

MM you also remind me that after four, almost five years in the work force, I still do not have a single appropriate thing to wear for work. One might think that after an entire weekend to prepare an outfit I could find something acceptable, but alas, I cannot, as my closet is still filled with Banana Republic from two years ago, when I had a discount program going with them due to my Amex overspending. And frankly the fact that nine out of the ten sweaters I own from you have holes in the armpit is much to my chagrin. I am still waiting for some rich old lady to pull me aside and give me a check to go buy some new appropriate work clothes, because if I was a rich old lady, that is what I would be doing, hands down.

MM you also seem to bring out the worst in all the commuters have to offer. Give me you weak, your tired, your hungry. Well they were all standing on my subway platform this morning, and smelling oddly like cheese as well. I swear I tried to move to the left, then move to the right , but the cheese smell kept following me. And no, my dear readers, it was not me, as I smelled like the oh-so-expensive ‘Pink’ perfume from Victoria Secret that I scored for about 37 cents at one of their Semi-Annual sales.

See Tuesday, I can grin and bear, doing the majority of my gym workouts. Wednesday is good TV night and by Thursday I have officially regained my will-to-live.

It is only Monday morning where sometimes it takes a breakfast consisting of a melted Panini on white bread with bacon, mayo and cheese, lots and lots of chedder cheese, to even begin to get me into the spirit of the week.

Not to mention, being that this is Thanksgiving week, I was one of about four other people going into work this morning. Does everyone else have about three months of vacation per-year? Because it certainly seems so. (Damn you Facebook for making other people lives seem so much cooler!)

And for those of you who look forward to Thursday as a day of stuffing yourself silly and laying on the couch, I would just like to say I have been *forced* into running a 4 mile Turkey Trot by my lovely boyfriend, who will essentially be done his casual run in 30 minutes…while I will suffer to simply stay alive and complete this by the hour mark. Just sayin. (This is a whole other article yet to come).

So happy Monday Morning to all and to all here’s to hoping we regain our will-to-live by Thursday.

Damn you Monday morning! Damn you!

Sincerely,

Ponderings Chick