Has anyone heard of the ridiculous concept of a ”man cave”? Until I met Boyfriend, I never had before. But he quickly filled me in and informed me, almost immediately after we started to get serious, that he plans to have one.
For those who aren’t aware, a man cave is a room where a “man can be a man.” It can include all sorts of things ”manly” things like sports paraphernalia, a pool table, a dart board, video games, tacky posters, beer, greasy food, etc. etc. Apparently, most men feel that it is their god-given right to have a man cave. When Boyfriend explained this all to me I laughed in his face and told him he was delusional. He said that his friend’s wife lets him have a man cave. I said his friend’s wife was a fool.
Call me crazy, but um, why does a man need his own room? Actually, why should a man get his own room? Where the hell is my own room, my woman cave, if you will? When I posed this question to Boyfriend he explained that women basically get the whole house. “You know, like the kitchen and bathroom,” he helpfully explained. Kitchen??? What the hell am I supposed to do there? I don’t cook. It’s hardly my room. And the bathroom? We share that. I didn’t paint it pink and hang tampons from the ceiling or stick pads on the walls. There is nothing that screams “FEMALE” in the bathroom. It looks like a regular unisex bathroom. Therefore, that room is not solely mine either. “The bedroom?,” he asked. “We sleep under a giant Ravens flag,” I reminded him. “Oh yea. Shit.” Exactly. I get shit and he expects to get a man cave. I don’t think so.
I never heard anyone mention having, or wanting, a man cave other than Boyfriend, until my client brought it up while we were at dinner one night. “There was flood in the basement where I have my man cave, but thankfully none of the appliances - like the 60′ inch TV (the one in his living room is smaller) or the PlayStation 3 - were broken. And it gave me the excuse to spruce up the place a bit,” he explained. “I’m having Giants logo carpeting put in and the walls painted in Giants colors.” As he explained this to me I just sat there, with my mouth hanging wide open in disbelief, a bit of crab meat falling out. “You have a very patient and understanding wife. Bless her soul,” I said.
Besides the fact that a man having his own cave is completely unnecessary, let’s talk about the financial practicality of getting a man cave. We pay a ridiculous amount of money to live in a one bedroom apartment in Queens. How about we first get a place with more than one bedroom in a nice neighborhood? Besides, much to Boyfriend’s chagrin, I’m planning to have four kids - with or without him - so I’m going to need all the free space I can get. I’ll be damned if I let him turn future baby Subway Gal’s nursery into a dirty college bar.
What do you think - Is it every man’s right to have a man cave, or is Boyfriend a wishful fool and his friend, and my client, very lucky bastards?
December 11th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Aha! For all the “rings are a stupid, sexist, expensive, and unnecessary tradition” your BF preached in that other post, his expectation of a man cave sounds a little hypocritical. Is a man cave not something only for the man to enjoy, much like a ring for a woman? So I guess you can compromise. You get a big stupid diamond ring, and he can get a big stupid room to fart in. Problem solved.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
McNugg, it’s like you read my mind!! Those were my thoughts exactly (after I wrote the post)
December 11th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Wait a minute! You’re going to have four children but you don’t cook? What is little Subway Girl going to eat, Happy Meals, delivered pizzas and Cocoa Puffs?
December 12th, 2009 at 1:30 am
Nailhead, my private cook is going to handle all that, of course!
Just kidding! Boyfriend handles most of the cooking.
December 12th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
My dad’s mancave is the basement…his century old EZ boy is down there, as is the 6′ long fishtank, as is the talking fish on the wall, as is his beer fridge. What a man!
January 7th, 2010 at 11:42 am
The reason we have a “room” is because women design and decorate every other room in the house to your liking. Every room is filled with thousands of dollars of crap from bed bath and beyond, kohls, etc….we just want one room to show our artistic expression…….so if there are 6 rooms in your house, 90% of the time, 5 of them have a female’s touch to them, all we ask for is one.