SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Sun Dance, Deals, Hat Hair

With New York’s fast pace making me feel more insane than usual, I jumped at the opportunity to escape to the snowy mountains of Park City, Utah for this year’s Sundance Film Festival and festivities. As I packed my thermals, Polartec, wool sweaters and huge robotic-like ski gloves, I was seriously excited to be somewhere [...]

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Top Ten Things You’ll Find in a Guy’s Room

Not so long ago we posted about “Man Caves” and how men with live-in girlfriends/wives feel entitled to a household area of manliness dedicated just for them and their testosterone. Today, I’d like to observe the top ten things in a man’s bedroom (single or non live-in girlfriend), primarily because I’ve noticed some overwhelming similarities. [...]

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Hideous Neanderthal Holiday Jewelry

I’ll never forget when I started complaining to a friend about the amount of crap I receive in my inbox from Urban Daddy. “It’s like, all the time,” I whined. She returned my anger with a quizzical look and said: “Yeah, dude. They email you daily. It’s a daily mailing.” Well, that explained why I felt constantly [...]

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My New Reason for Living

So today I came into work and immediately g-chatted my best friend: ‘I’d like a reminder of what I’m living for. The promise of happiness? Peace? Money? Anything…?’ Yes, I was in one of those moods. I knew it was bad when I collided with a stranger late night exiting the subway and his words to me were, [...]

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Me, Attempting to Read a Girl Mag

As a product of my generation, I prefer to read everything digitally on the net or on a small cell phone screen rather than physically bring dust-collecting paper into my teeny, tiny NYC apartment. The idea of buying books or magazines is ludicrous. However there is one magazine I really enjoy (no, I’m NOT telling, [...]

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The Most Hysterical Pop and Rap Lyrics of the Fall

Before I go through my list, I need to take a quick pause to address the insanity that is Lady Gaga’s new video – Bad Romance, and by that I mean address why it actually makes me feel more sane than I have in months. The baby language that predominates the chorus should be annoying, yet [...]

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“Real” Adulthood

Good morning. If you’re reading this, most likely, you’re what our society would define as an ‘adult.’ A shocking thought, I know. Someone over twenty-one. At a desk. With a job. Well, today, I’m wishing I had known earlier in life exactly what being an adult defined. When I was in child, in high school and [...]

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New Take on Party “Animal”?

As if the giant pink elephant that runs around Pink wasn’t enough, we now have a giant pink pig in tighty-whities invading NYC nightlife. What will promotional agencies with access to full-body rental costumes think up next? Last night at Todd English’s Juliet Supper Club in Chelsea, the pink pig landed. Naturally, crowds gathered and models (probably [...]

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Revelations in Dealing with Men

I’m at dinner with a girlfriend of mine gabbing away about our love lives and soliciting one another for advice. It’s your typical retarded, over-analytical conversation of ‘do you think when he said X, he really meant Y?’ or ‘when he did Q it was actually a metaphor for Z?’ and ‘when he failed to [...]

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Photo Tour: Halloween ‘09

So yes, I made it out to some bars and clubs of interest this Halloween weekend, but first: the tour of the streets! When I saw it was raining around 8pm my heart immediately went out to all the people wearing face paint. Luckily, the weather didn’t put a damper in anyone plans. Prepared folks took [...]

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