SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Wrapper’s Delight

Already a banner day for Stunned, I started off the morning by walking around the office with a plastic tampon wrapper stuck to my leg. I’ve been struggling with static issues lately. My hair and my pride are both paying for it. Luckily, my coworker pointed out my unknown accessory while I was getting coffee in the [...]

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Reality TV: Picassip Girl

On Monday, the New York Times reported that a woman enrolled in an adult education class at the Metropolitan Museum of Art “accidentally fell” into the 105-year-old Picasso painting “The Actor,” causing a vertical six-inch tear in the lower right-hand corner of the work of art. The article skims over the details of the incident, almost [...]

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The Whyner

When I was a budding adolescent, mouth o’ metal and too-short flare jeans, I kept a spiral sketchbook full of angst, anger, and drawings of dogs. Home for the holidays, I stumbled upon this relic while searching for the young-adult series Song of the Lioness, four fantasy books about a lady knight with special healing [...]

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Kiss and Tell

At 1:00 p.m. this afternoon I sat alone in The Womb, the cozy corner cubicle I share with my coworker, Sushi Girl. Headphones on, I’d tuned out the office–the irregular hums and whirs of desktop computers, the low buzz of fluorescent lights, the small bits of conversation that travel out of context. I was listening [...]

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New Gloom: Why Dating a “Twilight” Vampire Might Be Bloody Awful

Everyone is in a frenzy over the upcoming premiere of “New Moon,” the second installment of the “Twilight” saga. This week, New York Magazine features an article about “Twilight”-obsessed moms. AT&T, Burger King, and Volvo have all tapped into the madness, offering all kinds of merchandise, from ring tones to water bottles to the chance [...]

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New York Stunned List > Manhattan > Missed Reconnections

SPOTTED YOU, THE HIGH SCHOOL HEARTTHROB (!), ON ST. MARK’S - w4m - East Village I called your name–well, shouted it. See, I’d already had a couple of glasses of wine, so my usually razor-sharp, borderline-paranoid social senses were dulled. Had it been the sobering light of day, I never would have shouted. I probably wouldn’t have [...]

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Freaks and Gleeks

“I am like, famished!” Sushi Girl exclaimed as she sprinkled balsamic vinegar over a small plastic container filled with chopped celery and carrots. It was 1 p.m. Sushi Girl and I had just finished working on a Power Point slideshow that just about knocked the wit right out of me. (“I’m thinking like, buttery-yellow border for [...]

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It’s Just Me, Myself, and I (Part II)

Yesterday, I began sharing my struggle to come to terms with being single. I’m not one of those people that always needs a boyfriend. On the contrary, the greater part of my young adult to adult life has been a romantic dry spell. My latest fling looked like an oasis, but turned out to be [...]

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It’s Just Me, Myself, and I (Part I)

I feel a bit foolish. For the majority of the summer, my posts have been plagued with the angst-ridden tone of a scorned lover (for proof, look no further than exhibit A | B | C). Logically, my Man-made break-up with Jake wasn’t that big of a deal. We weren’t even an official item–more like [...]

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School’s Out Forever

The back-to-school season has arrived. And, for the second time now, I don’t get to partake. As I see the NYU students swarm the Village, I can’t help but feel a touch of envy. But it’s not just college. Lately, I find myself thinking about high school, middle school, even elementary school…ANY kind of school really. [...]

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