SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Couples I Could do Without

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought I would get in the spirit of things with a post about those happy, loving couples that I can’t stand. Let’s begin with my all-time least favorite, the couple everyone loves to hate . . . . Angelina “Homewrecker” Jolie and Brad Pitt. I hate them because I [...]

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Forest Hills State of Mind

I’ve lived in the Forest Hills/Rego Park area for about six years and, for the most part, I’ve enjoyed it. Sure, I could do without the dog shit ALL OVER the sidewalk, and it might be nice to have just one neighbor who spoke English and wasn’t afraid of me and Boyfriend, but it’s my [...]

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The Case For a 3-Day Weekend

If you’re like me, you tipped your hat off to Martin Luther King Jr. on Monday and thanked him for the day off. If not, well then that really sucks for you and you should put in a complaint with your company’s HR department. Three-day weekends are amazing. In fact, I’ve been trying (in my [...]

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The Fame Monster

Has anyone picked up on the Lady Gaga theme I have going on lately? I swear it’s not intentional. Fame. Everyone wants it, but few will ever posses it. But I guess in today’s world where anyone who is either slutty, crazy, desperate, rich or any combination of those can get their own reality show, it’s [...]

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Bad Romance

A friend of mine just shared an awful, but hilarious, story about a recent date she went on and because it is so funny, and awful, I thought I would share, so I’ve copied it below for all of you to enjoy. When reading this story please keep in mind a few things: My friend is [...]

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Is it Ok for Women to Pee Outdoors?

Along with those tough questions in life like, “Does GOD exist?” or “Are we here as a result of evolution or Adam and Eve?” or “Why do young famous people keep dying?” or “Is Sarah Palin’s slutty daughter really trying to open her own PR firm?,” is another unanswered age-old question that plagues me: Is [...]

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Just a Quick Note to All Those Who Use Facebook

Happy New Year to you all! Here’s hoping that 2010 is happy, healthy, wealthy and a lot better than 2009, which I thought was kinda crappy. As we enter into this new year,  I think we all need to take a good, long, hard look at our lives and make some important changes, beginning with our [...]

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Married to The Job

This past Sunday, Boyfriend received a scolding e-mail from his boss, which I found ludicrous. In this e-mail, which he was reading on his Droid, which he was required to get when taking on this job, asking why he had not replied to an e-mail from their client that was sent earlier in the weekend. [...]

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For the Love of God, Take a Sick Day

This past weekend, I came down with a vicious cold. And I don’t just mean you’re usual run-of-the-mill cold either. I’m talking swine flu-like symptoms cold . . . or what I would imagine having the swine flu would be like if I ever had it or knew anyone who did. My nose was like [...]

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Thank You, MTA

In case you haven’t already heard, the MTA has decided to make commuters’ lives more hellish. As if being crammed into a a dirty subway car filled with vile strangers leaning all over you every morning isn’t bad enough, they have now decided to cut service. Starting in the spring, you can kiss the W [...]

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