SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Sun Dance, Deals, Hat Hair

With New York’s fast pace making me feel more insane than usual, I jumped at the opportunity to escape to the snowy mountains of Park City, Utah for this year’s Sundance Film Festival and festivities. As I packed my thermals, Polartec, wool sweaters and huge robotic-like ski gloves, I was seriously excited to be somewhere [...]

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Reality TV: Picassip Girl

On Monday, the New York Times reported that a woman enrolled in an adult education class at the Metropolitan Museum of Art “accidentally fell” into the 105-year-old Picasso painting “The Actor,” causing a vertical six-inch tear in the lower right-hand corner of the work of art. The article skims over the details of the incident, almost [...]

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Top Ten Things You’ll Find in a Guy’s Room

Not so long ago we posted about “Man Caves” and how men with live-in girlfriends/wives feel entitled to a household area of manliness dedicated just for them and their testosterone. Today, I’d like to observe the top ten things in a man’s bedroom (single or non live-in girlfriend), primarily because I’ve noticed some overwhelming similarities. [...]

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The Art of NOT Shaving

It has been three days to be exact that I have not even picked up the razor. Not my arms, not my legs, not my, eer, other places. Nothing. And frankly, it is starting to feel damn good. I was feeling the dry skin just dusting off my legs last week, when all I could think [...]

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Hideous Neanderthal Holiday Jewelry

I’ll never forget when I started complaining to a friend about the amount of crap I receive in my inbox from Urban Daddy. “It’s like, all the time,” I whined. She returned my anger with a quizzical look and said: “Yeah, dude. They email you daily. It’s a daily mailing.” Well, that explained why I felt constantly [...]

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Kiss and Tell

At 1:00 p.m. this afternoon I sat alone in The Womb, the cozy corner cubicle I share with my coworker, Sushi Girl. Headphones on, I’d tuned out the office–the irregular hums and whirs of desktop computers, the low buzz of fluorescent lights, the small bits of conversation that travel out of context. I was listening [...]

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Me, Attempting to Read a Girl Mag

As a product of my generation, I prefer to read everything digitally on the net or on a small cell phone screen rather than physically bring dust-collecting paper into my teeny, tiny NYC apartment. The idea of buying books or magazines is ludicrous. However there is one magazine I really enjoy (no, I’m NOT telling, [...]

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New Gloom: Why Dating a “Twilight” Vampire Might Be Bloody Awful

Everyone is in a frenzy over the upcoming premiere of “New Moon,” the second installment of the “Twilight” saga. This week, New York Magazine features an article about “Twilight”-obsessed moms. AT&T, Burger King, and Volvo have all tapped into the madness, offering all kinds of merchandise, from ring tones to water bottles to the chance [...]

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My Morning Routine

Pretty much all my life I’ve been getting sh*t for taking so long to get ready in the mornings  for work (and pretty much any other time I’m getting ready to go somewhere) and I’m sick and tired of it for several reasons: I’m still always early and usually the first to arrive wherever I’m headed It [...]

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The Clueless Girlfriend: Are You Really Wearing Those Boots?

I saw them coming down the street about two blocks before we actually came face to face. It was well-dressed girl and her boyfriend. And by “well-dressed” I mean she looked put together, and “uncomfortable”. This is not the only occurrence of a well-dressed girl and her man that I have seen in the past [...]

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