SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

The Clueless Girlfriend: Are You Really Wearing Those Boots?

I saw them coming down the street about two blocks before we actually came face to face. It was well-dressed girl and her boyfriend. And by “well-dressed” I mean she looked put together, and “uncomfortable”. This is not the only occurrence of a well-dressed girl and her man that I have seen in the past [...]

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Not So Ladylike

You gotta love New York. Bright lights, fame, fashion and jazz hands. The city has it all. And all includes crazy women on the subway. Scary? A little. Amusing? Definitely. So I guess it balances itself out.   Today’s subject: Crazy lady I was squished next to on the V train home this evening.   Let me begin by [...]

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Revelations in Dealing with Men

I’m at dinner with a girlfriend of mine gabbing away about our love lives and soliciting one another for advice. It’s your typical retarded, over-analytical conversation of ‘do you think when he said X, he really meant Y?’ or ‘when he did Q it was actually a metaphor for Z?’ and ‘when he failed to [...]

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The Bad Girl’s Guide to Being Good

Ever notice all the articles and books out there advising supposed good girls on how to be bad. Psh! Who needs a guide for that? Most girls are bad (in a good way of course) anyway, and what we really need is some guidance on how to maintain our inner badness (yes, I invented a [...]

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Dressing for Your Body Type

Everyone knows that there’s nothing  I hate more than people who can’t dress themselves properly. This is a big problem at the gym, but, the problem stretches beyond those four sweaty walls. More often than I’d like to admit, I pass someone on the street, or see someone in my office building that leaves me [...]

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Anna Wintour’s Daughter Bee Shaffer: Actually Not A Waste Of Space

When you think ’Anna Wintour’ one might conjure images of assistants bleeding to death in the bottom of a coat closet…or possibly small rabbits being skinned and eaten alive on a plate made by Wedgwood. Now if you were to think of what kind of daughter such an anomaly like Anna Wintour might produce, you might [...]

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It’s Just Me, Myself, and I (Part I)

I feel a bit foolish. For the majority of the summer, my posts have been plagued with the angst-ridden tone of a scorned lover (for proof, look no further than exhibit A | B | C). Logically, my Man-made break-up with Jake wasn’t that big of a deal. We weren’t even an official item–more like [...]

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Re: Inappropriate Gym Attire

Remember reading my “Inappropriate Gym Attire” post last year? If not, I highly recommend it. It’s very funny. However, one of our selfabsorbed.me readers recently read the post and did not feel the same way. In fact, she was downright angry with me for writing it. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, [...]

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The Rachel Zoe Project, Has Raisin Face Done It Again?

So here the thing about Rachel Zoe: So maybe she was called a “Pox on Humanity” by a certain New York Times writer. And maybe she dealt a drug or two to some certain celebrity socialites who were looking to slim down before an award show. And maybe she might even be edging on the verge of 40 [...]

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The Problem with Plaid

Listen up people, because America has a problem and it’s not how to tackle the issue of healthcare reform. It’s something far more serious than that. It’s plaid. That’s right PLAID. I hate it, and it’s everywhere! In fact, I saw some teenager sporting a plaid, flannel-like shirt on my way to the subway just [...]

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