SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Things I Plan On Eliminating From My Life When I Turn 30

- Alcoholism (although it was fun while it lasted) -Credit Card Debt (even more fun while it lasted) -Reading PerezHilton (I assume old people read People.com?) -Sleepovers with girlfriends (I went to one in 2009 and spent the entire night wishing I could just put in my mouth guard and watch Chronicle) -My collection of InTouch Weekly. (Some people [...]

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Considering a Career Change

So, by now I assume you’ve gathered that I’m not 100% satisfied with my career. I’m more like 50%. On a good day. So I guess 30% would be more accurate. Regardless, I’ve been trying to come up with alternate career options for a while now, because the thought of doing what I am doing [...]

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When Did We Stop Being Allowed To Say What We Want To Say, Regardless Of Whether It Is Nice Or Not?

I use John Mayer, not because I AGREE with him in anyway. Because I don’t. But I use him as an example, mainly because he, like many others, has been punished because he spoke to the Rolling Stone interviewer, as though they were just two buddies, hanging out in a house. Alone. He made some mean, [...]

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Food for Thought

I’m the kinda gal who always assumes the worst. If you don’t show up on time, I assume your car crashed into a tree and you’re unconscious in a ditch, or that you decided all of a sudden that you hated me and were never going to speak to me again (ahem, Alex the cop) [...]

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[Podcast] How to Do Nothing without Really Trying: Risks, Rewards and Expectations, Part 01

Powered by Podbean.com Goldy talks about using the women’s bathroom at a bar, and Mark makes good on his promise to read a piece of hate mail from a listener. Join award-winning writer and filmmaker Mark L. Feinsod and his friend Goldy as they talk about various issues concerning New York and discuss the ways in which [...]

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The Best Job in the World

Back in the day, way too many years ago, I had the best job in the world. I didn’t know, or appreciate, it at the the time, but when I was 15 and 16 I worked at Carvel and over the years it’s become painstakingly clear that this was and probably will be the best [...]

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Drama at the Gym

I was at the gym earlier this evening, in the middle of my routine, when this tiny young lady trainer disrupted my groove. Here’s what happened . . . . I had just finished working out my glutes and quads and was headed over to the free weight area to work on my triceps, so that [...]

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Wrapper’s Delight

Already a banner day for Stunned, I started off the morning by walking around the office with a plastic tampon wrapper stuck to my leg. I’ve been struggling with static issues lately. My hair and my pride are both paying for it. Luckily, my coworker pointed out my unknown accessory while I was getting coffee in the [...]

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Forest Hills State of Mind

I’ve lived in the Forest Hills/Rego Park area for about six years and, for the most part, I’ve enjoyed it. Sure, I could do without the dog shit ALL OVER the sidewalk, and it might be nice to have just one neighbor who spoke English and wasn’t afraid of me and Boyfriend, but it’s my [...]

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The Whyner

When I was a budding adolescent, mouth o’ metal and too-short flare jeans, I kept a spiral sketchbook full of angst, anger, and drawings of dogs. Home for the holidays, I stumbled upon this relic while searching for the young-adult series Song of the Lioness, four fantasy books about a lady knight with special healing [...]

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