SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Married to The Job

This past Sunday, Boyfriend received a scolding e-mail from his boss, which I found ludicrous. In this e-mail, which he was reading on his Droid, which he was required to get when taking on this job, asking why he had not replied to an e-mail from their client that was sent earlier in the weekend. [...]

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My New Reason for Living

So today I came into work and immediately g-chatted my best friend: ‘I’d like a reminder of what I’m living for. The promise of happiness? Peace? Money? Anything…?’ Yes, I was in one of those moods. I knew it was bad when I collided with a stranger late night exiting the subway and his words to me were, [...]

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Is Lady Gaga’s New Song ‘Teeth’ Just A Copy Of Roison Murphy’s Ramalama (bang bang)?

Sitting on the subway this morning, half way through the new Lady Gaga ‘Teeth’ song I started singing automatically ‘ I need a rhythm, blah blah bang bang..” and realized,  Holy shit, #1- I am singing on a subway and #2-  That isn’t that right song! Is this Teeth? Is this Ramalama? What the hell is [...]

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The Most Hysterical Pop and Rap Lyrics of the Fall

Before I go through my list, I need to take a quick pause to address the insanity that is Lady Gaga’s new video – Bad Romance, and by that I mean address why it actually makes me feel more sane than I have in months. The baby language that predominates the chorus should be annoying, yet [...]

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Anna Wintour’s Daughter Bee Shaffer: Actually Not A Waste Of Space

When you think ’Anna Wintour’ one might conjure images of assistants bleeding to death in the bottom of a coat closet…or possibly small rabbits being skinned and eaten alive on a plate made by Wedgwood. Now if you were to think of what kind of daughter such an anomaly like Anna Wintour might produce, you might [...]

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The fall of Jessica Simpson

It was the late 90s and virgin pop princess Jessica Simpson exploded onto the scene with her tan skin, blonde hair, killer body and small brain. Boys were in lust. Girls were envious. Then she married former pop star and current has-been Nick Lachey and boys and girls across America were heartbroken. In 2003, the two [...]

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Whose Really To Blame for Kanye’s Outburst at the VMAs

I know I’m really late in discussing this because the “incident” happened almost a week ago, but I think it’s important that I take some time to discuss Kanye West’s latest outburst at the VMAs. I wish I could say it surprised me, but it did not. This isn’t the first time the rapper/jackass made [...]

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Understanding Rap Through Mathematical Graphs

Stumbled across these the other day. Def check out jamphat to see them all. Below are my favorites (and by that I mean the ones I could understand):

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Things You May (or May Not) be Surprised to Learn About Your Beloved Subway Gal

So, you think you know me by now? Do you think that after all you’ve read about my crazy antics, neurotic behavior and ridiculous thoughts that you know the real me? Well, you probably do know me really well by now. But there are a few things about me that I’ve managed to keep hidden. [...]

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Hey Dog, Buy Me A Drink

So I am out the other day, minding my own business, staring at people on the street…when this little dog comes over to me. I leaned down to pet him and no sooner had I moved his hand past his furry belly when I felt something up against my calf…and no it was not a diamond [...]

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