Seeing the situation start to go downhill, I tried to make a quick getaway when Mary Kay said, “We can walk together.” Unfortunately, we were going the same way, so off we went, as she told me all about her exciting career as a Mary Kay girl. Up ahead I saw a familiar shopping center and was thinking of making my getaway into Walgreens, claiming the need to pickup a few odds and ends. Unfortunately, Mary kept chattering on and I was unable to say anything. We passed Walgreens and the opportunity was lost.

“Do you know that there are still many wonderful career opportunities available with Mary Kay?” she excitedly told me, as if I might care. Yea, I knew. There are always career opportunities available with Marry Kay. My friend was a Mary Kary girl for about five minutes in college. She didn’t even earn enough to cover her tab at Happy Hour on Friday nights. Not exactly a profitable endeavor, I knew, but I humored the woman  nonetheless.

MK: I actually work as an executive at a company…. (she actually said this - executive at a company - and that just screams impostor. Remember when Romy went around telling people that she and Michelle were “businesswomen” in “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion”? What kind of businesswomen? They had no clue, and everyone saw through the facade. This is what that felt like.)… but I started working for Mary Kay to earn extra money on the side, and I started bringing in $1,000 a month working two - four hours a week. Is making extra money something that would be of interest to you?

SG: Hmmm I dunno. It sounds like a nice setup but I work as a public relations executive during the day, and a high-priced call girl at night, so I’m doing pretty well money-wise. Besides, between the two jobs and caring for my one-hear old twins, I barely have time to shower and eat. I couldn’t imagine taking on another job, even if it only required a few hours of my time each month. You understand, don’t you?

MK: So maybe instead of working with Mary Kay, you would like some of their products. Did you know that they make the best skincare products? It’s true. They taught me about my skin and which products work best for me and since I came to the United States five years ago, my skin has improved 100 percent. It’s incredible. Perhaps you would like a free consultation?

SG: No thank you, I’m 27 and I know how to care for my skin. In fact, after years of experimentation, I think I’ve finally found a regime that works great for me and I don’t really want to mess with that.

MK: I’d love to stay in touch and send you samples and setup a free consultation at my home. What’s your phone number?

I gave this Mary Kay cult member a fake number and parted ways at the next intersection. What started out as a nice walk alone to clear my mind and gather my thoughts turned into an awkward stroll with a stranger where one part of me was searching for the nearest escape and the other part was scared this woman was a psycho stalker who was out to get me. It was terrifying.  I was just trying to be helpful and point her in the right direction. The whole thing was probably a setup from the start. This is exactly why you should never be nice to people you don’t know.

Besides having unlimited access to non-fat vanilla ice cream and chocolate sprinkles (not necessarily together), the job paid in CASH. And not one damn cent was taken out for taxes. In fact, I never even filled out a W-2 form. I believe this was because my boss was an illegal immigrant. But he and his family were great and they treated me like family. My extended Spanish family.

The job itself consisted of me serving customers, making frozen ice cream cakes and other treats and cleaning the small store at closing time. The boss was rarely in and I spent most of the time working with the girl who was two years older than me, or the girl who was a year younger than me. We spent our days flirting with the older, married, guys who worked in the deli next door. I made out with one. But he wasn’t married. He was just old. If memory serves me correctly, he was about 15 years older than me. Nowadays I would have recognized that as an immediate warning sign. This man is DESPERATE and possibly CRAZY. But at the time I was young and still naive, so I was flattered. Thankfully, it never really progressed much further than that one kiss or else who knows if I would be around today to tell the tale.

Anyway, my co-worker who was older than me, and very nice and very pretty, which she never failed to remind us all about, started a much more dangerous affair with a sexy and married deli guy. It started with constant, but harmless, flirting and progressed into e-mail exchanges about hidden desires, which led to lustful looks at work and finally culminated with several makeout sessions before married man’s wife got knocked up and he got his priorities straight. My co-worker was crushed, but that’s the way life works. Unless you live in a Kate Hudson or Jennifer Lopez movie.

I actually remember enjoying that job. I didn’t even mind having to clean the store at closing time . . . .

Moral of the story? If you have the opportunity to work at Carvel - no matter what your age or social-standing - take it.