SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Mean in the Mind

As part of my ongoing existential crisis, I’ve taken upon myself to read philosophy and self-help texts along with my usual dose of raunchy historical fiction. So when a friend tossed Loving What Is my way I put it in my ‘to read,’ pile, but not without some hesitation. I knew this was the prodigal [...]

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What’s the Glue? (Metro Part 2)

Earlier this week I posted about my inability to be attracted to metrosexual guys. My writing unexpectedly climaxed in a large question: Is it the ‘we have stuff in common’ friendship or the primitive ‘opposites attract’ sexual tension that keeps couples together? Which is truly the glue? The physical or the intellectual? Both involve a complex bundle of [...]

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Money Talk & My Top Ten Ways to Save

It’s always disheartening to go to BankofAmerica.com and be informed that December ate your life savings. All those Christmas gifts to others (and myself), and vacations (because you have vacation time, you have to use it) seriously cut into whatever money you were stockpiling. Also, New Year’s resolutions, which seem like innocent, positive things are actually [...]

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Go Home, You Tit!

Firstly, the image pictured is of a titmouse. Why? Because I didn’t want to put a boob, as much as that may have helped bring traffic to the site. And, funny story, a friend of mine from Detroit thought a titmouse was actually a kind of mouse with tits. It’s a bird, that is, sadly, [...]

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Kim’s Dictionary…(also known as) Phrases You Need To Know For The SAT’s

Tyrannosaurus (Verb)- For those of you that remember specific scenes in Jurassic Park (as I do), you will know that it is scientifically proven that if you don’t move, a dinosaur can’t see you…. The same applies to creepy men…if they come to dance with you and you stop moving and stand completely still, they [...]

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If U Seek Amy ….Wait, Who The Frig Is Amy?

 I, like every other 16 year old, gay pride parade going, disco loving little boy purchased the Britney Spears CD, Circus..just about the minute after it came out.  (I waited 4 minutes after iTunes released it to be exact.)  One tune caught me totally off guard, If U Seek Amy. Now, I know about “metaphors”.. and “similes”… and [...]

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Correction: NYU is Lamer Than Predicted

Remember that post where we speculated the NYU Class of 2008 Commencement Speaker would be Michael J. Fox? Well, that was more than we could’ve hoped for. Turns out Michael J. Fox is just receiving an honorary doctoral at the ceremony, and the real Commencement Speaker will be Harvard Law professor Laurence Tribe, according to [...]

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Betty Might Not Like This

Today I was in Duane Reade, where I spend most of my disposable time, and came across an interesting product in the haircare aisle. Actually, this was not the first time I had noticed this product, but it was the first time I thought something should be said about it. And lo and behold, I [...]

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