SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Another Cheesy Thanksgiving Post

Remember last Thanksgiving when I wrote a post about people who should be more thankful? Well, GOOD NEWS! This year I wrote another cheesy Thanksgiving-related post, but this year it’s all about me (something new and different). Many of my posts consists of me bitching about all the things that I don’t like about life, like [...]

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The Bad Girl’s Guide to Being Good

Ever notice all the articles and books out there advising supposed good girls on how to be bad. Psh! Who needs a guide for that? Most girls are bad (in a good way of course) anyway, and what we really need is some guidance on how to maintain our inner badness (yes, I invented a [...]

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The Third Man (Part II)

Continued from Part I Jake stood in the frame of the doorway and looked confused as Man stared at him with her arms crossed. “Uhh,” he started. A promising beginning. “Hey. I…I know the girl who lives here.” “I live here.” “What?” “Yeah. I live here. With her,” she told him, pointing at me. They both looked at me blankly [...]

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Chairman of the Bored

WARNING: If you are young and still full of hope, stop reading right now. I’m bored. And you probably are too. And why is this? Because life is boring, that’s why. In school, they fill your head with lies like “life is your oyster” and “you can be anything you want to be,” but we’re [...]

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Things You May (or May Not) be Surprised to Learn About Your Beloved Subway Gal

So, you think you know me by now? Do you think that after all you’ve read about my crazy antics, neurotic behavior and ridiculous thoughts that you know the real me? Well, you probably do know me really well by now. But there are a few things about me that I’ve managed to keep hidden. [...]

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Dead and Gone

Earlier this evening, as I listened to “Dead and Gone” by T.I. and J.T. for like the millionth time because I luuuurve that song, I thought about how the old me was now dead and gone. Well, ok, that may be just a tad over-the-top, but you know what I mean. I was reflecting on [...]

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Why I need to be “contained”

I was complaining to my boyfriend this evening that we don’t go out enough and I, in turn, don’t drink enough. “I know,” he explained, “I do this on purpose. I keep you in so that I can keep you ‘contained’.” I was (not at all) surprised to learn that he thought I had a [...]

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