Breakdown | SelfAbsorbed.ME : 'It's Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier'

Guest Post: Screen Story 21: The Dangers of Modeling

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Today, compliments of Kilroy, we have the script for a never to be shot public health message about the dangers of modeling. Uh, yes, it’s a spoof. In a mock public health documentary, high school students are warned about the dangers of modeling. The film’s message is that modeling is an addiction little different from [...]

Clean Rage

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

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Today I’d like to quickly discuss an American travesty. An issue more directly influential in our daily lives than Palin or Obama or NYC’s theoretically fabulous ‘fashion week:’ Laundry cards. Correct. What city dweller doesn’t have a laundry card dispenser in their residence or down the street? I guess the idea, years ago, was to eliminate the need [...]

Construction Sites and the Meaning of Life

Thursday, June 19, 2008

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On an average day in city, I feel like I walk through three to five construction sites involving petrifying instruments like cranes, cement machine and drills. Perhaps this is the curse of living downtown. Regardless, I’ve found it disconcerting for years that none of the uniform clad professionals at the aforementioned sites seem to know [...]

Romantic Valentine’s Day in the E.R.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

6 Comments

Every once in awhile, you’re hit by something larger than sappy reality TV that makes you completely reanalyze your perspective on life. For Model Behavior, such an event occurred last Friday. I’m into grooming, hygiene and stuff that smells nice, so naturally, every time I unwind in a hot shower in addition to cleansing my body, [...]

Fashion Week Hurts My Brain

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

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The evil nuttiness that is New York Fashion Week has officially assassinated any creativity I posses. I’m trying to avoid the diva fashion crowd, the designer whackos, the billions of baby models, the endless lines, and the binder’s of lists – yes, that’s right. The bouncer at Kiss and Fly on Monday night for the [...]

Hate Mail to the Bachelor

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

5 Comments

Dear Brad, As Bettina and her family pointed out, you lack any sort of formal college education, so this concept may be hard for you to get your head around: People don’t watch reality TV to see reality. See, we’re all already dating guys who say stuff to us like, “You posses every single quality I’m looking for [...]

My Halloween MoJo: Missing

Monday, October 29, 2007

1 Comment

I, Model Behavior, a usually fearless partygoer, admit to be so intimidated by the Halloween madness that I fled Tavern on the Green’s Saturday Halloween soirée before even entering the party premises. Tavern on the Green’s PR people deserve a hearty handshake. I failed to meet anyone in a twenty-mile radius of Manhattan who didn’t know [...]

Ode to the Animal: Part II

Thursday, October 4, 2007

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I knew the Linanimal’s solo trip to Amsterdam would be an irrevocable disaster from the get-go. My prediction was confirmed when she phoned me from the Rome airport and cheerfully announced that she had forgotten her passport. “You what!??!?!” I exclaimed. “I’m in some sort of security room. I think they’ll let me through though. I have [...]

Survivor: Hamptons Style

Thursday, September 6, 2007

9 Comments

My posting schedule this week has been a little cracked out. Don’t worry. I’m chalk full of excuses, the most pertinent and truthful of which is that this weekend I suffered several near death experiences, all in the same 10-hour period. Stressful? Yes. The chords in the back of my neck have only now (four [...]

Biggest Blogging Fear

Friday, August 17, 2007

5 Comments

My friend and fellow blog writer Cajun Boy in the City recently posted an announcement that he felt forced to activate comment moderation on his blog. He was receiving threatening and inappropriate comments from people I like to call ‘haters.’ I was shell-shocked by Cajun’s announcement because aside from his occasional Guido mocking I didn’t [...]

SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Tag Archive | "breakdown"

Guest Post: Screen Story 21: The Dangers of Modeling

Clean Rage

Construction Sites and the Meaning of Life

Romantic Valentine’s Day in the E.R.

Fashion Week Hurts My Brain

Hate Mail to the Bachelor

My Halloween MoJo: Missing

Ode to the Animal: Part II

Survivor: Hamptons Style

Biggest Blogging Fear

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