SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Another Cheesy Thanksgiving Post

Remember last Thanksgiving when I wrote a post about people who should be more thankful? Well, GOOD NEWS! This year I wrote another cheesy Thanksgiving-related post, but this year it’s all about me (something new and different). Many of my posts consists of me bitching about all the things that I don’t like about life, like [...]

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The Bad Girl’s Guide to Being Good

Ever notice all the articles and books out there advising supposed good girls on how to be bad. Psh! Who needs a guide for that? Most girls are bad (in a good way of course) anyway, and what we really need is some guidance on how to maintain our inner badness (yes, I invented a [...]

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Remember When. . . .

When I read an article on the New York Daily News Web site yesterday about how happy former adult film star Jenna Jameson is about her new twin babies and how she compares herself with Saint Angelina Jolie, I couldn’t help but think about how so much has changed and how so much has happened [...]

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The meaning of life

After 26 years of living, I think I have figured out the meaning of life, and it is not pretty. The meaning of life is . . . Work. I’ve been trying to deny it for some time now, but I really think that, unfortunately, work is the meaning of life. We work to make money, because [...]

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Dear Michael-My-Face-Is-Fucked-Phelps; I Have Some Advice For You

  I have only two words for you, Michael-My-Face-Is-Fucked-Phelps   GET BETTER FRIENDS.   Seriously Dude. When you want to go just hit the Care Bear Cloud sometimes, why don’t you do it with people who aren’t going to rat you out worse than Linda Tripp on a cookie dough ice cream and secrets night?   I mean who are these douchebags who [...]

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In Response To My Hate Mail

When I first started writing NYC Ponderings the only people reading it was a group of three friends and possibly my mom, after she had a few cocktails. The more I posted, the larger my fan base became. Soon I was receiving letters and comments from friends of friends saying they read the blog. And [...]

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Extreme Paranoia

My mind works in mysterious, often frightening, ways. Case in point: I am extremely paranoid. If someone is supposed to meet me somewhere at a certain time and they are late, I start to call their cell phone. Incessantly. And if they don’t answer, I automatically assume the worst. The person was in a car accident! [...]

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A trip to the dentist

Today I had to leave work early and make a trip to the dentist to have not one, not two, not three, but four cavities filled. I’d rather have stayed at work. For some strange reason, I used to love the dentist as a kid. But now, not so much. It’s not that I have anything [...]

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5 Simple Rules for When I’m Sick

I’ve been stricken ill with the cold. It hit me late Saturday night and came out in full force Sunday when I was visiting family on Long Island. The next morning I woke up, loaded up on a mixture of Sudafed, Benadryl and way too much Afrin nose spray, and headed off to work. I [...]

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MTA: Doing less, while charging you more

What do you think of my new slogan for the MTA? Much more fitting than “Going Your Way,” don’t you think? In case my fellow NYC commuters haven’t yet heard, the cost of public transportation will most certainly increase again in June, which also happens to be the month I was born in, so happy birthday [...]

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