SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Jon Gosselin Costumes: What Is The World Coming To?

Not that I wasn’t amused by every Tom, Dick and Harry wearing their oh-so-fashionable Ed Hardy t-shirts, with their expensive jeans, ridiculous looking sunglasses and with numerous fake babies tied to their backs….because, I was. I truly was. And for every despicable Jon Gosselin costume there was a Kim Kardashian right behind it. And I do [...]

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Sunday Night Recap and Doing ‘The Jerk’

How would you feel if you walked outside of Greenhouse after getting a check and a reporter comes and starts asking you all these questions about clubs and racism? Under Pressure? Yep, that’s me. I did my best to fend him off and be honest as possible, without saying anything that would raise controversy. Anyone interested can check [...]

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How Fall’s New TV Lineup Is Going To Ruin You

· Dancing With The Stars- Who are your celebrity “stars” here?…Tom Delay?…Really DWTS REALLY? A Republican house majority leader?…I mean what, Gary Coleman wasn’t available? Or Dionne Warwick? I mean really, what is she up to lately? · CSI Miami- So let me take a guess here, someone in the Everglades dies, there is blood left [...]

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The Rachel Zoe Project, Has Raisin Face Done It Again?

So here the thing about Rachel Zoe: So maybe she was called a “Pox on Humanity” by a certain New York Times writer. And maybe she dealt a drug or two to some certain celebrity socialites who were looking to slim down before an award show. And maybe she might even be edging on the verge of 40 [...]

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Pictures Really Do Speaker Louder Than the President’s Words

So, did you all see the President’s speech to Congress earlier this evening about healthcare? NO?? TRAITOR!!! Just kidding. I actually didn’t see much of it myself. I was busy putting stuff away and walking around the apartment aimlessly. But I did catch parts of it and I thought those parts were very good. But that wasn’t what [...]

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Holy Experiences and Puppets

So the modern world and I broke up for two weeks this summer. Those weeks in August when I was MIA? I was in India with no phone, no twitter, tumblr, internet or facebook. It was GREAT. Since my return, I’ve been doing what other people call “processing” the trip in the hopes of being able [...]

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Too Fast, Too Furious

I consider myself a self-appointed Friday Night Lights missionary. I actually consider it a personal and spiritual responsibility to convert as many people as possible into devotees of the show. Recently, I took it upon myself to convert my father by showing up at his doorstep with an empty stomach, season one on DVD, and [...]

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Friendster Anyone?

  This is an actual email I wrote…please note the day..and time..and desperation in my tone… ——————————————————   Subject:Friendster? Date: Monday, August 9, 2004 12:40 AM From: “Kim Forrest” To: “Elaine”, “Kate”, “Kelly”, “Katie”, “Laura”, “Anne”, “Kristen”, “Molly”, “Jessica”, “Rachel”, “Sarah”, “Shelly”, “Mary”  Are any of you ladies on Friendster?! …This is really important! I desperately need friends…I am a loser on the [...]

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My Dirty Dirty TV Secret

I watch The Bachelor. And I like it. I like it so much that I even stay up late after going out to hip NYC venues to ingest all two hours of its melodramatic rose giving. What’s wrong with me? I’ve blogged about The Bachelor before, specifically about doody Italian Prince Lorenzo (who didn’t even speak Italian, [...]

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Introducing the I’m Just Sayin’ Show

It’s blizzarding outside and if you made it into work, you’re probably wishing you were under a down comforter with some girlfriends enjoying steaming hot chocolate and Xanex while watching the snowfall idyllically from the warmth of your expensively heated apartment. Instead, you almost slid to your death five times this morning sidewalk-skiing to your [...]

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