SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

It’s Just Me, Myself, and I (Part I)

I feel a bit foolish. For the majority of the summer, my posts have been plagued with the angst-ridden tone of a scorned lover (for proof, look no further than exhibit A | B | C). Logically, my Man-made break-up with Jake wasn’t that big of a deal. We weren’t even an official item–more like [...]

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Recipe for Disaster

So, last Saturday I went out and got absurdly intoxicated within the span of an hour. A drunk girl and a cell phone: no doubt the ultimate ingredients for a batch of piping hot humiliation. I awoke the next morning feeling like my head had been filled with sharp rocks. And then I remembered my [...]

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Man Vs. Wild

Roommate rage is a difficult emotion to manage. In the close quarters of many a Manhattan apartment, I’m sure countless individuals experience bouts of such frustration. Whether the emotion stems from unwashed dishes or unpaid rent, inevitably conflicts arise that make living with other people less than perfect. In my particular case, the problem was more [...]

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The Third Man (Part II)

Continued from Part I Jake stood in the frame of the doorway and looked confused as Man stared at him with her arms crossed. “Uhh,” he started. A promising beginning. “Hey. I…I know the girl who lives here.” “I live here.” “What?” “Yeah. I live here. With her,” she told him, pointing at me. They both looked at me blankly [...]

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The Third Man (Part I)

My roommate and I moved into an apartment in Chelsea. I’ve been unpacking for a week now, which has mostly consisted of moving piles around the floor of my room. Venturing from the East Side to the West Side definitely feels different, yet seamless, kind of like switching shampoos or wearing a new pair of [...]

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