SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

“Real” Adulthood

Good morning. If you’re reading this, most likely, you’re what our society would define as an ‘adult.’ A shocking thought, I know. Someone over twenty-one. At a desk. With a job. Well, today, I’m wishing I had known earlier in life exactly what being an adult defined. When I was in child, in high school and [...]

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Anna Wintour’s Daughter Bee Shaffer: Actually Not A Waste Of Space

When you think ’Anna Wintour’ one might conjure images of assistants bleeding to death in the bottom of a coat closet…or possibly small rabbits being skinned and eaten alive on a plate made by Wedgwood. Now if you were to think of what kind of daughter such an anomaly like Anna Wintour might produce, you might [...]

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Stay At Home Moms - The Smartest Women In The World?

“If there is one thing I learned from my Mom, it is that driving around in my Husband’s BMW SUV all day long while I go to the grocery store and pick up cookie dough, ain’t a bad deal…let’s just say, my mom knew what she was doing.” Riley stopped and looked at me, plopping another [...]

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Services Offered

Like many people, I am about to become unemployed. Unlike many people, I know that I’m about to be out of a job, because my freelancing gig at an unnamed evil media conglomerate, whose name rhymes with “Biacom,” is about to expire. My impending joblessness is both a blessing and a curse: no job means no money, [...]

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