SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Top Ten Relationships Better Left in 2008

1. Any kind of MP3 player that is not an Apple. 2. That guy you run into with a puzzled look on your face, (because you still can’t remember how or why you met) who you enjoy calling while wasted post 3 am. Delete that number. 3. [...]

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Haggling Your Way to Love

Newsflash: You can handle your love life like hostile business merger. It’s almost 2009, and Facebook, snapfish, aSmallWorld and MySpace have increased dating complexity to the point of absurdity. These days it’s more about text message finesse, emoticons and online stalking than face time. More relationships fail, and fail quickly, thanks to the fast-paced, [...]

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Pet Names: Dangerous and Potentially Harmful

You’re falling in love. Gross. Romance somehow turns those of us that swear like truck drivers and cackle at cinematic happy endings into people who use words like ‘muffin cake’ and ‘baby bear’ when addressing our significant other. How exactly this happens remains a mystery. There are however, clear relationship side effects to speaking like [...]

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Dating by Hair Style

Most of us can admit to having ‘a type,’ an ideal of what we think we’re attracted to. No matter how much we hold onto it, we’ll all at some point surprise ourselves by being attracted to someone who doesn’t fit our ‘type’ definition. Obviously. Because its actually scented pheromones that [...]

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Why Do Losers Always Win?

Last week, my friend and I were complaining about how the guy she’s been dating never wants to take her out anymore. Dinners and a movie, yes. But the kind of wild nightlife fun they used to have with their friends when first dating, no. His point is that going to a club with [...]

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What’s the Deal with Online Dating?

This is a question I don’t have the expertise to answer, rather a quandary that’s buzzing through my group of friends. I don’t know if it’s the changing weather, the financial crisis, an across-the-board craving for stability, or the fact that we’re all just getting older, but in the past few weeks I’ve heard suggestions [...]

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The Book

Your entire approach to dating can change overnight. For me, it happened on a night like any other. I came home from work typically bedraggled and sank into my broken, once-white sofa. As I put my feet up and summoned the strength to get through the rest of the evening (cooking? television? recreational reading?), my [...]

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6 Best Ways to Ditch a Date

The very best way to ditch a date is to do yourself a favor and set up an easily ditchable situation in the first place. Let’s start by sharing the breakfast/brunch dating strategy. On dates offered by newer additions to your dating circle, people you perhaps don’t know that well, accept the date but on the [...]

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Dream Date #653: Yourself

When we’re young and using Hollywood endings as our guide, we often envision an Antonio Banderas lookalike tangoing into our lives and making everything well, perfect. Then either a dozen disappointing relationships or a rude awakening from a self-help book or wiser friend forces us to realize this naïve “saved by love” scenario will most likely [...]

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Migration to a Different Dating Pond

Every once in awhile we’re lucky enough to have a eureka moment. A breakthrough. A quick shimmer of genius which makes everything clear.I experienced a moment like this in the dating arena mid-August. The epiphany went something like this: Why get dressed up, go to clubs, stuff your feet into heels, wrap your body in binding or [...]

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