SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Six Daze of the Week

I’m pleased. The above picture–a stunning portrait of the floor of my room–perfectly captures the disorder and distraction that defined this week. Using the same structure as my previous six-word by six-subject stories, I humbly present my week in review (minus Sunday, the day of rest, which is always spent idly): a series of events that [...]

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Love on the Brain

I’m lucky enough to study with a famous yoga teacher in New York. She’s written several books, studied in India for decades, is considered a spiritual leader in this school of yoga and wears the traditional jewels and flowing gowns, the whole nine-yards. Being in her presence is a huge privilege. Even when she’s [...]

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Freedom of speech?

I remember when I was about 10 years-old and driving in the car with my mom on our way home from visiting some of her relatives in New Jersey (I know, I know, don’t hold that against me) when I said, “It was really fun seeing Aunt Tina, mom. Hey mom, do you know the [...]

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The Philosophy of Ambiguity

Everyone go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather! Oh, you’re desk-bound suffering under florescent lighting, ticking days off your calender until you’re inevitably fired? Then briefly enjoy these…it’s the philosophy of ambiguity. I found it helped me laugh, even though everything that’s going on right now (and apparent insane global warming — it’s sixty degrees) [...]

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Gym? What’s a Gym?

So as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I am unemployed. Up until now, that wasn’t such a bad thing because I was able to keep busy with the multitudes of charities I support and modeling for car shows, but now, it seems those wells have run a bit dry.  What to do with all this [...]

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A Tweenie Tragedy

This is a tale of love and forbidden passion, an account of humiliation and loss, an ode to one of life’s treasures. But mostly, this is a story of a girl and her dog. Her hot dog. Hot dogs might be my favorite food. While I get cravings for particular foods every once in a while, everything [...]

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Questions for My iPhone

I love my iPhone probably way too much. It does pretty much everything to the point where I have become utterly dependent on it, and can’t imagine living without it, or, almost as bad, going back to some other, simpler phone that only (gulp) makes phone calls. This thing allows me to store all the [...]

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Don’t Talk to Strangers

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about all of the small yet humiliating things that could really ruin my day–food in my teeth, a visible booger, an exposed thong triangle, etc. This week, I’ve been caught off guard by a series of related events: what do you do when you see these [...]

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My Favorite Things About Ireland

Now that I’ve been back in New York and miles from an airport for a comfortable ten days since my three-week stint in Ireland, I can safely and calmly look back and recall the things I like about that moss-covered rock. Here they are, in any particular order you wish to mentally rank them: 10. Dairy Despite [...]

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6 x 6

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been reading six-word stories on Smithmag.com. I’m not exactly a girl of few words, but these shortest-of-the-short stories inspired me to crash diet for today’s post. The process is harder than I thought. It’s kind of similar to my experiences on food diets; for the first three words or [...]

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