SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Neighbor Trouble

When I moved to my first NYC solo apartment, I was thrilled for multiple reasons. An added bonus: The apartment a floor below me appeared to be the playground of three hot, seemingly-single, straight samples of man meat roommates with a hoard of amazingly attractive male friends. Their apartment isn’t even directly below mine, so [...]

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The Third Man (Part I)

My roommate and I moved into an apartment in Chelsea. I’ve been unpacking for a week now, which has mostly consisted of moving piles around the floor of my room. Venturing from the East Side to the West Side definitely feels different, yet seamless, kind of like switching shampoos or wearing a new pair of [...]

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Without Words

So I’m sort of speechless these days. I live in a new area? Alone? By alone I mean for real, alone, with no one else? I have an entire kitchen, apartment and fire escape to myself? I’ve become the kind of person who spends their Saturday morning at Benjamin Moore perusing paint samples, morning meaning [...]

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Live Blogging a NYC Move

7pm – Arrive home from work to find your formerly sexy apartment has been transformed into visual depression. Ugly moving boxes you stole off the street are stacked up to your ears and half a decade of souvenirs, memorabilia, take-out menus and unpacked pots and pans are strewn throughout, as if placed by a hurricane. [...]

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Living Alone to Living Together

So everyone says the same exact thing when you first move into your own place..”Ohhh you will be lonely at first, but eventually you will learn to love it!”   And I may be the only person to disagree with that…for me , it was the opposite. At first, coming home was like having Christmas every single day…. There [...]

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Moving. Alone. In New York.

Moving. Is there anything on the planet more stressful? Years ago, I wrote a Model Behavior guide to apartment hunting in New York. Ah how the times have changed! In my former guide, I warned Manhattan apartment seekers to be ready to ‘take a place on the spot,’ often ‘without even seeing it.’ Those old New York rules [...]

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How To Get An Apartment

Here’s a real email I just wrote to a broker regarding an ad for an apartment on Craig’s List that I want but definitely can’t afford: Hi Dave, I just saw your listing for the AWESOME apartment on Court St at Dean, and must say, your use of the word “awesome” seemed quite fitting. I certainly appreciate [...]

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