SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Me, Attempting to Read a Girl Mag

As a product of my generation, I prefer to read everything digitally on the net or on a small cell phone screen rather than physically bring dust-collecting paper into my teeny, tiny NYC apartment. The idea of buying books or magazines is ludicrous. However there is one magazine I really enjoy (no, I’m NOT telling, [...]

Continue reading...

Dear Monday Morning,

Dear Monday Morning, Monday Morning I have been thinking about you a lot recently. And not simply because you are here…right now…in my face…with your arms up in the air, ready to punch me square in the nose. Some people quite enjoy you. In fact they feed off of you, getting revved up for the rest of [...]

Continue reading...

Technology: Clearly Out to Get Us

So as many of you may have noticed, last week this site went a bit nuts (by nuts I mean, not functional), especially for those of you who use Internet Explorer. We sincerely apologize, and many thanks to all of you who wrote in to let us know. In the future, any tech problem you [...]

Continue reading...

If You Loved it then You Shoulda not YouTubed it

Quick pause on everything I wanted to write about this week to dissect my intense horror / fear at a website I discovered today called SingleBabies.com. What is it? Some enterprising mom and dad in New Zealand who videotaped their innocent 13-month-old infant Corey dancing to Beyonce’s never-endingly popular tune Single Ladies. They threw it up on [...]

Continue reading...

Restored Faith in the US Government

No, this has nothing to do with Obama or the subprime mortgage crisis or anything political. I’m going on a big trip soon (more on that later) which requires obtaining a visa (annoying.) Luckily, my passport is up to date and valid though like 2017, with the worst picture of me ever taken. I check out [...]

Continue reading...

Any Suggestions On A Life Plan?

So here is the thing, let’s start off with my current situation right now before I jump into this whole ‘article” thing…to start I have had about three cups of iced coffee…and for someone who normally doesn’t drink even one glass of tea, I am in shaking-central right now. I can barely even type this. [...]

Continue reading...

Are you there, Ralph Lauren? It’s me, Bartok.

Today a post from the lovely Bartok: I was perusing my salemail (ShopItToMe) today, an activity that has become only more enjoyable with the plummeting prices of luxury items. The global economic slump has companies upping their sale percentages, meaning that I am upping my shopping. While I find something a little disheartening and maybe even [...]

Continue reading...

Ranting about Rain

I want to have a serious conversation with whoever invented the umbrella, and by serious conversation I mean kick in the shins. Is it just me, or has New York turned into Vancouver? Am I imagining things or does it rain legit every other day? During the thunderstorms last Friday I got stuck in torrential rain not once, [...]

Continue reading...

Men: Insane?

Now I know a lot of my male readers aren’t going to like the title of this post, but there’s something 100% whacky going on. I don’t know if it’s the recession, the month of February, mid-winter illness or Valentine’s Day, but it seems the males my friends and I know are ‘invaded-by-pod-people’-level off their [...]

Continue reading...

Metrosexuals Invading My Nail Salon

Some time ago, I wrote about metrosexuals – how I’m not attracted to them and why I think their stylish, effeminate selves should flattened by a grunting caveman operating a bulldozer. If the city’s metros could be contained in one big Ralph Lauren hybrid Whole Foods store, that’d be ideal, especially after what happened [...]

Continue reading...