SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Hole in the Walls

One of the best/worst things about living in NYC is that as resident of the coolest city in the world, everyone you know wants to visit you all the time. That’s why after living here a few years you realize you’ve gone on that redic Statue of Liberty boat tour half a DOZEN times. But [...]

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On Talking to Lying Married People…

I’m a fan of the New York Times’ Modern Love articles in a ‘I always read them three months after the fact and only online when I’m bored’ kind of way. Somehow, today I stumbled across this article, “My View From the Margins,” and wanted to throw in my two cents. In a nutshell, this column’s [...]

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How to Pick Up Someone Off the Street

Ever been picked up in the middle of a New York City street? Legitimately? (Homeless people saying ‘walk your sexy ass by me one more time,’ doesn’t count). No? Neither had I until a few weeks ago and it was such a successful interaction that I’ve deemed myself qualified to write a manual on it. Thank me [...]

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Glamour.com’s Idea Of How To Make A Man Smile…And Then There Is Mine.

5 Easy Ways to Make Men Smile By dating blogger Ryan Dodge for Glamour #1: Touch His Arm ( I can think of OTHER things he would like touched. And some guys may like to refer to it as their arm, but alas it is not, and please ladies don’t fall for this line if you [...]

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Without Words

So I’m sort of speechless these days. I live in a new area? Alone? By alone I mean for real, alone, with no one else? I have an entire kitchen, apartment and fire escape to myself? I’ve become the kind of person who spends their Saturday morning at Benjamin Moore perusing paint samples, morning meaning [...]

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When to Sleep with a Guy

The Social Man posted this video yesterday and I naturally I wanted to add in MY purely from female perspective two cents. So they cover that you shouldn’t sleep with a guy if you’re doing it to get him into a relationship with you. Yes. Thinking that sex equals a relationship is sort of like thinking [...]

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Why He Didn’t Call You Back

We got a friendly shout out from The Social Man today and I wanted to share this video they created about why a guy might not call you back after a date. I also happened to like the soundtrack. Check it out: My synopsis of what they covered: 1. If you like him, touch him (on the [...]

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Two Positives from Fashion Week

My friend called me at some point last week screaming something along the lines of: “I just tried to go ice skating at Bryant Park and there are tents and anorexic waifs everywhere. What the *&^$ is going on?” The answer: Fashion Week. Everyone I ask claims it’s only twice a year for seven days but that’s a [...]

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How To Seduce a Woman? I’ll Tell You Right Here

A close friend of mine Christian runs a website focused on helping men improve their social skills, especially when it comes to women. Ladies, did you know that many men are terrified of us? Or just hate our guts because they feel like we’ve been ‘rejecting’ them for eternity? And we get so frustrated with [...]

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Party. Pamper. Beautify.

Who has time to take long chunks out of their work day for necessary beauty maintenance? Not me. That’s why I always find myself bribing salon receptionists for the coveted Saturday afternoon appointment. A lengthy color treatment is now eating my weekend, but at least I’m not biting my nails, staring at my watch to make [...]

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