SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Hole in the Walls

One of the best/worst things about living in NYC is that as resident of the coolest city in the world, everyone you know wants to visit you all the time. That’s why after living here a few years you realize you’ve gone on that redic Statue of Liberty boat tour half a DOZEN times. But [...]

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St. Tropez Deliciousness, Now a Subway Ride Away

I was whole heartedly terrified last week when the wind increased, temperature dropped, and I found myself shivering in flip flops in the apparent premature onset of winter. Luckily, Mother Nature (who I’m convinced is going through some kind of global warming-induced menopause) evened out. We have a beautiful fall week ahead. Unfortunately, I still [...]

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I Guess I’ll Have to Stay Home…

So I’m flying back to New York today (i.e., reality, thank God) and was browsing over all the details on the Aer Lingus website to avoid any problems, like the ones I had with those filthy money-grubbing fucks at RyanAir. While looking over the extensive list of items that aren’t allowed on board, in checked [...]

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Day 1 in Miami: Vita

Day 1 in Miami. We arrive at the Dildo Island house, run around, and eat a fake pre-dinner to make sure we don’t get too hungry for our 9:30pm real dinner. We have a reservation for fifteen friends at hotspot restaurant Vita. I say ‘hotspot’ because this is what I’ve been told. Let’s keep in [...]

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High Steaks (The Second Course)

Yesterday, I was contemplating how the guys in my life have influenced my dietary habits. These initial thoughts stemmed from the fact that I have a dinner date next week. The circumstances that birthed such a strange event are a story for next time. For now, I can’t help but wonder what the hell I’m [...]

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High Steaks (The First Course)

To eat or not to eat? That is never the question–unless of course I’m sitting across from any male relatively close to my age, struggling to fork down a bite of salad that will gracefully, seamlessly disappear into my mouth. Oh, the size of those unruly lettuce leaves! And I sit there wondering not only [...]

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Dinner with Side of Karolina Kurkova

I go to West Village restaurant Bobo last night where I’m sitting next to my friend, both of us facing out. Our table-for-two is adjacent to a table-for-four occupied by two glam couples, and the girl seated in the direction facing me is oddly familiar. How I ended up at a hidden, pricey, townhouse restaurant [...]

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Nightlife Crazy Signage

The best use of signage to set a venue’s mood has to be this gem at Greenwich Village’s Employees Only. Whether it legitimately hails from the New Orleans Police Department as it claims is TBD, yet its message is perhaps still relevant – well, at least the pickpocket part. Employees Only was originally conceived as a [...]

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Experiencing Bagatelle

For people who want a side of club music with their dinner experience and can actually afford to pay for their meal instead of attending promoter charity dinners like the ones I’ve written about at One, Bagatelle is the place to be. It’s a meatpacking block away and while One and Bagatelle have nothing in [...]

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Snacks and the City

It’s late, well past midnight. I’ve been drinking. Desire has replaced reason. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help myself. I swore I wouldn’t go crawling back, but it’s just too easy. I’ll hate myself in the morning–more like early afternoon–but, right now, I just don’t care. I need Veselka. No, I’m not having a lustful [...]

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