SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Search Terms Used To Locate Our Site

In case you were wondering the list of terms people could Google to come upon our lovely little SelfAbsorbed.me I figured I would give you a list, directly from Alexa site rankings below….enjoy. (these are actual terms you can search to locate us) Search Terms Driving Traffic Top keywords driving traffic to selfabsorbed.me from search engines. Updated monthly. [...]

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Mean in the Mind

As part of my ongoing existential crisis, I’ve taken upon myself to read philosophy and self-help texts along with my usual dose of raunchy historical fiction. So when a friend tossed Loving What Is my way I put it in my ‘to read,’ pile, but not without some hesitation. I knew this was the prodigal [...]

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Raped by the U.S. Government

This past weekend, as I was happily going about my business, getting ready for the movies, I received a most disturbing phone call from my accountant. He effectively ruined my day with one simple phrase, “you owe money on your taxes.” I dropped the phone. Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! I never owe money on my taxes! In [...]

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He’s Just Not That Into You

Today I went to the movies with my (straight, believe it or not) best guy friend and we saw “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Despite the cheesy endings, overall, I really liked the movie. We had some great laughs at Ginnifer Goodwin’s expense as her cute, but unlucky in love, character broke all the [...]

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Kim and Devin: A Male Blogger and A Female Blogger Discuss- Dating, Sex, and Build-A-Bear

KIM: So Devin, being that you are qualified to answer all questions regarding men… as you technically are a man and have all the right parts and what not..at least I am assuming…I was curious..Why is is that you think women always fall for guys who don’t like them? You always hear about women trying [...]

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A Job I Could Love

Lately, I’ve been wondering about work. Things like, does anyone really love their job? How can we learn to love our job? Why must we work? What does it all mean? Well, after thinking about it for about two days, I have no answers. I do however have some new, exciting potential career ideas for [...]

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(no subject) - Part II of the X-Man Series

Thirty-six hours ago, my ex, X-Man, sent me an email deceptively entitled “(no subject)”. The email informed me that he was about to be in a Facebook relationship. Because he was in a real relationship. And now he and this “Megan” character needed the Internet to make it official. I’ve spent the past 24 hours listening [...]

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(no subject)

Any email that starts, “Hey, I just wanted to tell you so you don’t find out on Facebook…” bears no good news. The message came from my ex-boyfriend, whom I will refer to as X-Man, because it makes me sound like I dated a superhero and I was all like, Whatever, he’s just a normal guy [...]

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Caught in the Web

Yesterday, I went to the doctor’s office. A nasty cough had deteriorated into a sore throat and mild fever. No big deal, but I wanted some antibiotics for a quick fix. I was a first-time visitor, so the receptionist had me fill out some basic information. I signed the bottom of the form and returned the [...]

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If I Were An Advice Columnist Take 2!

Since my first column worked out so well (well, in my mind at least), I thought I’d continue to help people and try it again. Here’s the latest call for help I received . . . Dear, Subway Gal. I have a problem. I’m a 16 year-old girl who pretty much has it all. I mean, I [...]

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