SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Stranger Things Have Happened (Part II)

I last left you during my panic attack. After a night of drinking and a trip to Nathan’s, I’d casually asked Jake, my latest romantic interest, back to my apartment. When he agreed to such a course of action, I found myself experiencing a downward spiral of paranoia: I didn’t really know Jake. Did it seem [...]

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The List

A few years ago I used to have a thing for basketball players, which I think began when I dated one freshman year in college. I thought basketball players were super-hott and I was convinced that I needed to marry one. Then Boyfriend got me into football (RAVENS!!), and I kind of forgot about my obsession [...]

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Metrosexual, Homosexual, or Just a Sexual Predator?

Yesterday evening while I was at the gym workin the ole hamstrings, a random man came over to me and asked if I’d been to a certain cafe in the area. No, I had not been to said cafe, but, as it turns out, a girl who looks just like me had! Yes, it seems [...]

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When to Sleep with a Guy

The Social Man posted this video yesterday and I naturally I wanted to add in MY purely from female perspective two cents. So they cover that you shouldn’t sleep with a guy if you’re doing it to get him into a relationship with you. Yes. Thinking that sex equals a relationship is sort of like thinking [...]

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Freedom of speech?

I remember when I was about 10 years-old and driving in the car with my mom on our way home from visiting some of her relatives in New Jersey (I know, I know, don’t hold that against me) when I said, “It was really fun seeing Aunt Tina, mom. Hey mom, do you know the [...]

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What’s the Glue? (Metro Part 2)

Earlier this week I posted about my inability to be attracted to metrosexual guys. My writing unexpectedly climaxed in a large question: Is it the ‘we have stuff in common’ friendship or the primitive ‘opposites attract’ sexual tension that keeps couples together? Which is truly the glue? The physical or the intellectual? Both involve a complex bundle of [...]

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If I ran into [insert name of unpleasant blast from the past here], I would say

Have you ever wondered what you would say if you ran into someone from the past that you loved, or hated, or envied, and haven’t seen in years? Stop lying. Of course you have. We all have. So tonight I got to thinking about what I would say if I ran into a few of [...]

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If I Were an Advice Columnist Part 3

Dear, Subway Gal. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the past five years and I’m beginning to think that the relationship isn’t going anywhere and that he may be using me, so I’m hoping you can help clear things up for me. We were dating for about a year before we moved in together and [...]

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Sex, Why Bother?

Last week’s article was called Dating, Why Bother? Now I’m on antibiotics, not just Theraflu and it’s yielded even crazier results. It somehow got my friend and me talking about how it might be best to not have sex with anyone you actually like. It sounds like a voyage on the Crazy Train, I know. The premise [...]

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Why Men Leave

Remember how I wrote an article about how to approach women a few weeks ago? Not exactly my style, but little did you know it was part of trade! That’s right! My friend Christian and I decided to write scoops for one another’s blogs. Christian’s a social coach who works with men to improve their success in [...]

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