SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

GiTtiN ma eDuMAcaTioN

Has anyone else noticed that kids seem to be getting  a little bit dumber with each passing year? It’s true. Just this morning when I was on the V train heading into work, minding my own business, trying to catch a few extra minutes of unconsciousness before the insanity of the day began, two female [...]

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Blast from the Past (Part I)

Last Wednesday, I’d planned on doing a little celebratory drinking: A toast to midweek. My attitude: halfway to Friday is a glass half full situation, provided the glass is filled with alcohol. The night was intended to be casual: just a couple of drinks with my girlfriend T, one of my best friends from high school. [...]

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Dawson’s Freak

On Sunday, I had a substantial to-do list that involved everything from buying soap to writing cover letters to eating the leftover Chinese food while it was still good. With over a page of responsibilities, I did what any other rational, intelligent young woman would do: I sat down with the leftover Chinese and watched [...]

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The Comeback Kids

Last week, I had to return home to attend a doctor’s appointment and retrieve a forgotten retainer, a little relic of eighth grade that I still wear to bed because of a reoccurring nightmare about having to get adult braces. While home, I did a lot of listening to the local hit radio station. What [...]

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Home is Where the Heart Is (Question Mark)?

I actually saw and spent time with the entities that gave birth to me this weekend, something that doesn’t happen too often since accessing them is similar to trying to get a direct call into the Pope. They travel frequently. By frequently I mean like three and a half weeks out of the month. They [...]

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Ode to the Animal: Part II

I knew the Linanimal’s solo trip to Amsterdam would be an irrevocable disaster from the get-go. My prediction was confirmed when she phoned me from the Rome airport and cheerfully announced that she had forgotten her passport. “You what!??!?!” I exclaimed. “I’m in some sort of security room. I think they’ll let me through though. I have [...]

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Ode to the Animal

Women cumulate many groups of female friends over a lifetime: childhood friends, sports friends, high school friends, international friends, college friends, work friends, partying friends, writer friends – the list goes on and on. The mystery remains who in this colorful array of female acquaintances will be the first to get married? Move to a [...]

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